It has been a while since I have blogged. We have been home from vacation for over a week now. With all of the laundry and unpacking on top of having out of town guests, there has not been much time for writing. A lot of things are happening and unless you read this blog, you will not know what is going on in our lives right now. I am not planning on telling my family and friends that I have written a new blog. But for those of you who check periodically will know what is up.
Do you want to know what is up? Well, we are currently pregnant with baby number 10!! I have been in shock the last few days as I really did not think we would expecting again so soon. However, just a few days before I found out I was in my room thinking about the Lord. I kneeled by my bed and put my head against the mattress and asked the Lord what He thought about us having another baby. I told Him that I would love to have another baby if He saw fit. John and I had already agreed that we would like another baby as we have had a couple of prophetic words spoken to us that we would have 10 children.
Just days after this prayer, I began to feel queasy, dizzy and tired. The feeling was all too familiar. So, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive! It is amazing to me that with each pregnancy, it has seemed like the first. Only a mother can understand this. The excitement and wonder is as if you were pregnant with your first. As Mary the Mother of Jesus said, "My soul doth magnify the Lord. My spirit rejoices in God my Savior."
The thing that is difficult however is the lack of excitement from others when you find out you are having baby number 4, 5 , 9 or 10. The attitude of the world says,
"You gotta be kidding. How many are you going to have? Don't you know what causes that? You are crazy. You have some loose screws." And on and on it goes. When you have your first, everyone is excited. There are phone calls, congratulations and best wishes, baby showers and celebrations. Even when number two comes along, everyone is excited because baby number one will have a brother or sister. Number three and four are not too bad, but you do begin to get a few looks and comments. For me the worst was when we found out we were having number five. The unkind remarks kept me in tears and I had alot of healing to go through.
God is so faithful in that I had just become a part of a ladies bible study where the women prayed over me and the baby (Jamie). I found much healing and restoration as I knew that God was covering me and affirming me during that time. I carried shame for a while and felt as if I had done something sinful and wrong by becoming pregnant again.
But this is what God says,"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. happy (blessed) is the man whose quiver is full of them.
They shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate. Psalm 127:3-5. I choose to listen to what God says because His words are truth. His words stand forever.
I hope that my story will encourage other young mothers whom God has called to have many children. This calling carries its own set of persecutions and word arrows that can be very painful. If we do not go our Shelter and Strong Tower, we will become bitter toward the world. We want to stay soft and pliable toward others in order that we may continually be His vessel of Glory.
When I went through the difficult time with my #5 pregnancy, God gave me a poem which was actually published in a book. I would like to share it with you.
SECRET PLACE OF HIS PRESENCE
In the time of trouble,
You hide me where no one sees.
In the secret place of Your tabernacle,
You are the One whom I seek.
You shall hide me close to You,
And set me high upon a rock,
Now my head is lifted up,
Above the enemies of strife and mock.
At times I am like a broken vessel,
For I hear the slander of many.
But I choose to trust You Father,
While so many find this uncanny.
I will offer sacrifices of joy,
Forever in Your house.
And sing praises to You Lord,
Shouting "GLORY" from my mouth.
My times are in Your hand,
Deliver me from tongues of irreverence,
I call upon You and I cry,
Then You hide me in the secret place of Your presence.
Penned by Ange Cogburn