I am amazed by the designs and plans of God for our lives. The word "amazed" and the phrase "plan of God" seem so trite sometimes in that we use those words so often. If we do not stop and quieten ourselves to go deeper than even the level of our vocabulary, the phrases and words can become so stale. Oh Lord, may Your name and your ways never become stale in my mind, in my mouth, in my heart and in my spirit. I am taking a little break from the parenting articles as I am so full of God's love, life and grace. I just have to share.
Today has been such a special day. It is no one's birthday, no holiday or special occasion. It is a day, just a day. However, a day no matter what it entails is a gift and I do not ever want to take the time He has so graciously given for granted.
One thing that has made this day so special is that I am beginning to see more and more of the life God is giving in the place of loss in our lives. We lost our baby to miscarriage about a month and a half ago. My heart is still broken, but a broken heart does not mean it is the end. We named our baby Joy and now I am beginning to see why the Lord gave us that name for this baby who await us on the other side.
A couple of weeks ago I joined Curves which is an exercise facility for women. The women who go there are so friendly and talkative. I feel like I have known them for longer than two weeks. One of the employees named Cindy has been so kind to me and has helped me learn to use the machines correctly. Today, when I walked in, her face just lit up as she approached me. She asked me if she could share something personal and went on to tell me that her oldest daughter who is only 8 weeks pregnant was at the Doctor's office that moment because she had started bleeding heavily. She asked me to pray for her. She asked me about my experience with the miscarriage and about my experiences with having children. I have only spoken with this woman a few times and she is pouring her heart and concern out to me concerning her dear daughter who lives far away in Buffalo, New York. I was able to minister to this woman today because of a loss in my life. If I had not lost Joy, I would not have had the joy of showing the love of Jesus to this dear woman.
Just yesterday I felt so much grief from the loss of baby Joy. I am healing and the days are getting better overall. However grief is an oddity. it can wash over you unexpectedly without any notice or warning. It is a process and it is taking a long time. This morning however, I felt the life flow of baby Joy and the Lord within me so intensely as I had the privilege to encourage this woman with a message of hope.
I experienced the life of Joy who is no longer in my womb, but she is in the embrace of the womb Creator and life Sustain er. When I touched a hurting heart, I felt I was touching Joy. Everything this baby stands for is life because she is alive. And the loss I have experienced is nothing compared to the glory of His life in my heart. This is so simple ,but oh so deep. Lord, may the simpleness of your love never grow stale within me. The life of Joy is bringing me into deeper wells of the Joy of Life. Oh What a Day! Oh What a Savior!!!!
Eternal Life is in Him and this life gives light to all mankind. His life is the light that shines through the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it. John 1:4-5 (Living Bible)