Abundant Lives

The End

2008-10-27T10:21:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,

We have decided to close Abundant Lives as we have entered into a new chapter of our lives. Old things have passed away and God is making things new. It is a new season for our family. We no longer live in Atlanta, Georgia. We now live in sunny Arizona.

I started my own blog when we moved here about a month ago. It is called A HEART AT HOME. It has a daily scripture with prayer and devotion. There are also teachings about a woman's role in the home as well as just simple ideas for decorating, cooking, gift giving and other tidbits. www.ange-aheartathome.blogspot.com

Never minimize your place at home. It is the most powerful place you can be of influence for the next generations. Check out A Heart at Home. I would love to hear from you and would be encouraged to know you are enjoying it. It is my gift to you.

In Christ's Love,
Ange

We Met Some Neighbors

2008-10-10T07:24:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to blog a quick update here in the Valley. I've noticed that the house we are living in has seemed so peaceful. All of the children have slept well here since the first night. Also I have even slept better here compared the home we lived in back East.

Yesterday evening Daniel,our 7 year old, accidentally threw his ball over the wall (the privacy fences here are concrete walls) into the neighbor's yard. So Daniel, Jamie, Joshua and I ventured over to the neighbor's house to ask if they could toss the ball back into our yard. Great timing! The mom and two of the children had just arrived home from the grocery store.

I introduced myself and the children to the family and found out they have 6 children ages 22 down to 10. They also home school. As we were chatting, the husband pulled up in the driveway. He is actually a lieutenant of the police department here. HA HA! No wonder I feel so safe here.

He went on to tell me they had been praying that a godly, home school family would move in next door. Well, they got their prayers answered. It was so neat. We were giving each other high fives in the driveway. They also have a son Kerry's age and a daughter Sara's age. Their youngest is only a year older than Jamie.

I will keep you posted on what is happening. Just wanted to share a quick update with you. LIVE! LAUGH! LOVE!

On the Wall-Yelling for Truth

2008-10-07T08:37:00.000-07:00

A few days ago I joined Face Book as I thought it would be a great way to keep in touch with the folks back East. All of you who are familiar with Face Book know we do more than read our own messages on the wall. But don't we love to read what others have written on any and everyone elses wall? I admit, I am the first to poke around.

My eyes have been opened in a new way to just how this election has stirred our young people. I am a bit disturbed by the suspicion,distrust, and even skewed opinions of the younger generation. I realize that the older generation is just as
affected. However, I reckon as mom, the thoughts and hearts of our children is a concern of mine.

First of all, my heart is grieved that so many of us are affected by the media and other's opinions more than we are on the standard of what God's word says. The youth of this generation are so distrustful of authority. Where have we messed up parents? Where have we dropped the ball America?

One thing that does give me hope is the fact that our young people are becoming bold and outspoken about the issues of our country and of this upcoming election. I am encouraged and hopeful that God will direct this more toward Him and that He is training our young people to shout out the truth of God's heart. I am on my prayer wall watching it all and praying that we all will stop arguing our opinions and start standing and yelling for truth to prevail.

We need to be concerned about the downfall of the family, the warfare in the public schools, millions of babies dying and put a stop to striving to scrutinize every flaw we think we see in our candidates. I am not trying to minimize the fact that we should seek, research, and cry out for discernment about each candidate. Yes, God has given us the ability to make a choice here. But how many of us have stopped and asked the Lord, "Who do YOU want for our leaders Lord?" In spite of the character flaws, weaknesses, and mistakes, who would YOU, Lord, like to have in office in this country?

The thing that irks me is that we all tend to make assessments on our own opinion rather that picking up the word of God and simply making the right decision based on the standard of truth. WE must let go of what is in it for "me" and think about the next generation.

If abortion continues, a future godly president may be murdered in the womb of a deceived young mother. Who knows,maybe the person God ultimatley chose to be president these next years was aborted 40 years ago. Only He knows. However, we have to wake up,get on our designated walls,hold up the truth, and STOP being blind sighted by our own opinions.

This is my vent for the day...on the wall and shouting. "LET TRUTH PREVAIL"

IT AIN'T ABOUT ME!
IT AIN'T ABOUT WHAT THEY YAK ON TV.
IT AIN'T ABOUT THEM ARTICLES YOU READ.
IT AIN'T ABOUT THEM FRIENDS THAT YOU LET LEAD.
IT AIN'T ABOUT THE WEAKNESS OF MAN.
BUT IS ABOUT OUR CALL TO TAKE A STAND.
IT IS ABOUT THE DUTY TO DIG IN GOD"S WORD
AND STAND ON THE FOUNDATION
AND FIGHT WITH THAT SWORD.
IT'S ABOUT STAYING IN GOD'S FACE
GAZING UPON MERCY AND GRACE.
AND ASKING WHAT HE THINKS
ABOUT THIS UPCOMING RACE.
IT IS ABOUT TRUTH AND HONOR
AND THE HEART OF GOD
SO BABIES CAN LIVE
AND FAMILIES CAN LEAD
AND HIS CHURCH CAN BE THE EARTH'S AUTHORITY
JUST LIKE THE KING MEANT IT TO BE.
WHEN WILL WE BECOME SICK OF ALL THE MESS
AND RAGE AT THE EVIL
STEALING THE BEST?
IT IS UP TO US
GOD HOLDS OUT HIS HAND
WE MUST TAKE HOLD
WE MUST BE BOLD
WE MUST TAKE A STAND.
COMPLACENCY DIE!
UNGODLINESS CRY!
RISE UP TO YOUR PLACE.
AND YELL OUT THE TRUTH.
WAKE UP GROWN UPS!
TURN AROUND YOUTH!
TAKE YOUR PLACES ON THE WALL.
THIS IS ALL PAST DUE.
KEEP REMEMBERING IN AIN'T ABOUT YOU.
THE SIMPLE HEART OF A MOM,
HOLDING THE HEART OF GOD,
IS ON THE WALL,
YELLING FOR TRUTH.
FOR THE FUTURE OF ALL.

A Day in the Arizona Life

2008-10-06T07:37:00.001-07:00

It has been exactly 2 weeks and three days since our sudden move from Atlanta to Phoenix. It is mind boggling to think about just how in control God is of our lives if we give Him the reigns. It has been difficult moving a family of 10 sixteen hundred miles away and it will take some time before this place begins to feel like home.

It has been lonely in a lot of ways for us all. However, I am watching the beauty of a family draw closer in relationship. If the Lord moved us out here just for that, this is significant and I am beyond grateful. Just a couple of months ago, I sensed the Lord speaking to my heart about the weightier matters of life-the demonstration of heart felt love and mercy. So many times we go running from here to there and we drift apart in our most important ties. God is into our relationship with Him and our relationship with family.

Relationships. God's favorite pass time. He will do anything to preserve them in a life submitted to Him. This brings me to what happened yesterday. We decided last week that we were going to visit a new church. I found the church on the Internet a couple of weeks before we moved from Atlanta. To be honest, the whole family was battling the negative attitude of having to go through the whole church hunt ordeal.

However, we did not let it get the best of us and we went. The church is called the Voyage Church. It is a new plant which started up a year ago and they meet in a movie theatre.

The thing that stood out the most was what happened as we were approaching the doors of the church/theatre. One of the men saw us coming and he actually left the doorway and started walking toward us. He met us halfway. Immediately he introduced himself and started talking to the children. He memorized their names...all eight of them before we even walked in the front door. After church we ended up walking with him and his wife out to the parking lot. We had great conversation. Not the surface stuff, but real stuff about family, faith, and relationships. Then he climbed into our van and told the children ,one by one, goodbye.

Because of this one man and one woman's kindness, we will be going back next week. Also the youth pastor called the teenagers the Saturday before. The leaders also made us feel very at home and welcome. We felt special and cared for. This is what our mission is....to reach others and share the gift of hospitality whether we are in our homes, church homes, or out about in the streets. We are already feeling more at home in Arizona because of a few people. Never estimate the seemingly small gestures of kindness that we are all able to give. We tend to make it so complicated at times...but complexity it not needed. The love of Jesus is simple. We just need to let Him fill us as we adore His beauty and His beauty will simply flow from us as a cascading waterfall.

There will be more updates coming...so if you are wondering what is new with us, just keep checking back. We miss you all and know that you are in our hearts always.

Love,
Ange

P.S. As I was just sitting here editing my blog, my four year daughter just came up to me and laid her hand on my heart and started praying for me. She has been doing this a lot lately. She keeps telling me that God will protect my heart. This was her prayer.

"Dear Lord,
I pray for Mommy's heart. That you will protect it. That you will heal it. That you will help her not to be sad. And keep her from a bad spirit. Amen.

Out of the mouth of babes God has ordained praise...so HE has ordained prayer and all the gifts HE has put within them even before the foundations of the earth were created. How great is our God!

A Must Read- The Shack

2008-09-28T16:44:00.000-07:00

Several weeks ago my dear friend Betsy told me that I should read "The Shack",by WM. Paul Young. I knew I was getting ready to be very busy with the move. However, I went ahead and purchased the book and began reading it. I am glad I did. It is Sunday afternoon and I am sitting in my quiet chair as I have just finished the book.

This story touched my heart, challenged my mind, and revealed more about God than I could have imagined. It is ironic that one little creative work like this could be packed with so much truth and power. It is truly a message from the Lover of our souls crying for us to seek Him and learn who HE really is.

The story is about loss, grief,unforgiveness,confusion,and hopelessness. It will stir your core and show you that we all have a shack or two within our own hearts. Where is that deserted, cold and empty place in you? How did it get there? And why does there never seem to be any answers as to the inward questions of "Why?"

Did you know that within the very shack erected within you is an opportunity for you to find life and truth? But you have to go there. Someone is calling and is inviting you back to the "shack" Going there is excruciating, but a great surprise awaits you if you will only make the journey and walk through the door.

Your perspective of God will change as you will experience sides of Him you never knew existed. Your religious views will be shattered and your mindsets pulverized. He is real, relatable,tender,and affectionate. He knows the things you love and what you enjoy. His passion for you is like the breath of a thrusting wind. He does not push Himself upon you but only invites you into His arms. At the shack, you will find that the very place of pain is a refuge of fulfillment and healing. You will find yourself being carried in His arms as He knows you like no other knows you. You have heard it before, but you will truly know it after your stay in the Shack.

Go with Mack to the Shack, a simple family man who has experienced torrents of pain in his life. You will never be the same again. You will be changed as you sit and commune with the Lover of your Soul. He is calling and He is waiting. Let us go.

Deeply hidden within
nestled behind
gnarly twigs
iced vines, broken shingles
exists a bottomless floor
where uninvited sorrow
come to dwell.

It lays there only to catch death
Hope ceases, joy releases
never to return
life void of being recaptured
all is doomed, and nothing
ever to bloom again.

In the mind's eye
this is all there is
but obvious reality is not
truth's stance.

In the heart
the lies come,
distress hovers,
constantly as robbers
of life's treasures.
Then a shack forms.
In me, in you.
Time strolls
And the shack rots
But never disintegrates

Deceit never wins
in the hand
Of the Lover.
He scrutinizes
knows and redeems
He waits at the shack
where the evil one ravaged innocence
And hedged hope until it smothered.

The tattered and torn shack
where all seemed to end
Was where the Lover waited
to bind the shack within

Cascading tears water
Holding a seed
Of eternal life
In its crystal wealth
The Lover knows
what you need.
In the plot where
You only saw death
Life will meet you there
At the truest of depth.

Come to the shack
The Lover will build it again
He will fill it with joy
Beauty and life from His hand
That which was lost
You will find never was gone
And a ravaged heart
Was never alone.

(I wrote this poem as the story inspired me. You may not understand it unless you have read the book. However I pray that you will read the book and then tell your family and friends about it.
I realized that we all have heart held shacks in difficult seasons of our lives. But the shack is not the end. We must expect the Lover to be who He says He is no matter how He chooses to reveal Himself to us. He is good. He is good. He is good. As we truly learn of Him and of His tender mercies and touchable love, we learn more and more that He is good and kind. No matter what the pain you have suffered whether through death, abuse, sickness, betrayal, God is a good Father and He wants to show you that He is just that....simply good.)

More from the Valley of the Sun

2008-09-25T14:01:00.000-07:00

Here are more photos. We took these this morning. When you wake up here it looks like this at 6:30 a.m. So of course everyone is getting up earlier. The pictures of the palm trees, the back yard and the dove were taken from the master bedroom picture window. This morning I was sitting in my "quiet time" chair by the window...praying for strength. The whole process has taken a toll on my body it seems. As I was praying and crying a little asking God to help me, this beautiful little dove (in photos above) landed on the wall. He just sat there very still for at least 10 minutes. I went and got all the children and showed them that it was God's message to us that He is with us and that He is helping us.

I was also reminded by the Lord this morning that we all tend to put too much pressure on ourselves...especially mothers. We need to learn to rest instead of being so restless thinking we should be doing more than we are doing.

After that moment we all went outside and just played in the sun. We spied a couple of butterflies and crickets. Then we googled to find out what crickets eat.They like to eat each other and they enjoy drinking beer and vinegar. We got a kick out of that.

Okay Moms ....stop pressing on yourself like I have been doing. The work is going no where...but the special moments with those precious little ones are as a vapor. Take every opportunity to embrace these rare moments with these priceless little gems.

Update from the Sunny Valley

2008-09-24T08:30:00.000-07:00

Here are a few random photos from last weeks' move. The top picture is of John carrying the final box off of the truck. And he was still smiling! There are also a couple of photos of the house inside and out. The inside picture is of the dining area and kitchen. Our huge table is swallowed up in the spacious dining area...no more carpet there! We can sweep up the crumbs! Hallelujah. We will post more pictures of the house later with furniture.

The other pictures are of the outside. The children are enjoying this the most. And you see the spa. It has been great putting the little ones in there before bedtime. They are nice, limp, and go right to sleep! Smile.

Below that you see the pictures of some of the terrain on the drive over. Windmills in Texas and mountains galore from West Texas all the way to Arizona! It was a beautiful journey. Praise the Lord that the Cogburn school bus made it with no problems at all. God was faithful and His wind surely carried us here. There will be more updates. Keep checking. We miss and love you all.

The Cling Factor

2008-09-12T05:50:00.000-07:00

I know some of you peek in here to see what is new. I have not updated in a while so just thought I would take a moment to share. This season has been one of high momentum. It is much like riding the Marta at the airport. You had better hang onto the rails or you are going to get jerked around a bit.

This is much like the season we are in. God is literally picking us up from this place and setting us down in a new place. Personally, I am so used to being in the waiting mode. Every thing before has been very slow. We have prayed and waited, cried and fretted, waited some more, rested, and cried again.

How overwhelming it is to watch God set you on the fast train and boy you better hang on or you are going to get spiritual whiplash. Just a little over a month ago we were in agony..wondering if God was ever going to "do something" We had run out of money,strength,and hope. However, the one thing we did not lack was the God given ability to look to our faithful Father. No matter where we were emotionally, we stayed in His face and remained in His embrace.God was working all along behind the scenes and now the deliverance has come.

I also have learned that God is not concerned so much with our performance in the test. Sometimes you are up and sometimes you are down. However, He is looking for one thing...."The Cling Factor" He hovers and waits and continually makes Himself available in order that we may grab hold to Him no matter the mood we find ourselves in.

In less that a month, we have found ourselves preparing to move across the country. God provided a promotion for John. He is working for Armorworks in the Phoenix area, managing 10 engineers. Imagine the challenge of building relationally with that group of people? Also he will be contributing to the protection of our country through development ideas for military wear, machinery, and vehicles.

I am so happy for him after he has worked in an environment where he was demeaned in many ways and even judged with sarcasm for being a father of 9. He endured it all quietly and patiently.

God truly is our Vindicator. We just have to wait and allow Him to be that for us when it is so tempting at times to build up our own walls of justice. When we take those matters into our own hands, we usually just end up building strongholds of bitterness for ourselves and we become bound in the snare of the evil one.

We also found a house very quickly. When John and I visited Phoenix a couple of weeks ago we must have looked at fifteen homes. The houses were lovely but there were no backyards. Just this week, John found a home with a huge, grassy back yard for the kids to run and play. The house is also one story which is something that I had prayed for.

The moving truck comes today. We will load over the weekend and hope to be out of here by Tuesday or Wednesday. The train ride continues.....and the story goes on.
God has truly taught us many things in our five years here in Atlanta. He has been preparing us, refining us and humbling us. I appreciate Him for that...and we know the process will continue...stayed tuned for more.

YOU SHALL FEAR THE LORD YOUR GOD, YOU SHALL SERVE HIM, AND TO HIM YOU SHALL HOLD FAST,AND TAKE OATHS IN HIS NAME.HE IS YOUR PRAISE AND HE IS YOUR GOD WHO HAS DONE FOR YOU THESE GREAT AND AWESOME THINGS WHICH YOUR EYES HAVE SEEN. DEUTERONOMY 10:20-21

Back to Baca

2008-08-29T12:54:00.000-07:00

Today I was in store for a very special surprise. Not the kind where you jump up and down with excitement and elation. But the surprise of finding where your heart is and the urgent call to visit the valley of weeping once again on behalf of another.

Last year I had two miscarriages which happened about 3 months apart. It was the most painful time of my life. To me it was as if I had lost one of my living children. Eight months have gone by and not a day goes passes that I do not think of those two little angels who are thriving in Heaven. Time is healing the pain but some days the grief comes as an unexpected visitor.

However, today the Lord had something in mind that would open my heart to another's pain. Believe me, I felt the sting for another as I have never before experienced. Maybe the Lord gave me a little glimpse or "prick" in my heart of how He truly aches for us and the deeper reality that He not only understands our sorrows, but he feels them as if they were His own. He claims every pain. He weeps in the deep recesses of His heart for his beloved.

My phone rang this afternoon and I found myself talking with the sweetest young lady who had lost her baby a month ago. The little boy was 19 weeks gestation because the mother's cervix was incompetent. They named the baby Caleb and he lived for an hour and a half after he was born. My heart stung with sorrow as this precious woman poured her distress out. We agreed to meet next week and I want to give her God's love. I am so happy that I can give her something...I can give her comfort, encouragement, gifts, and most of all love. I have cried all afternoon for this precious woman. God loves us so much. We so often underestimate the depth of His feelings for us. He truly captures every tear and treasures them as priceless gems.

Thank you again Lord for sorrows. God, I cannot love in sincerity unless I have tasted the sting of death, loss and disappointment. Love means more to you than anything Lord. It is so obvious. Oh the valleys formed within our being through tremendous aches that only form a space to drink in Your love. The beauty of Your ways God...overwhelm me with awe and wonder. Incredible Lover and Hero of My soul.

BLESSED IS THE MAN WHOSE STRENGTH IS IN YOU, WHOSE HEART IS SET ON PILGRIMAGE.
AS THEY PASS THROUGH THE VALLEY OF BACA (WEEPING) THEY MAKE IT A SPRING;THE RAIN ALSO COVERS IT WITH POOLS. THEY GO FROM STRENGTH TO STRENGTH;EACH ONE APPEARS BEFORE GOD IN ZION. PSALMS 84: 5-7

Mystical Beauty

2008-08-26T14:23:00.000-07:00

We arrived home from our housing visit in Phoenix Sunday. I am still in a strange daze as my mind keeps wandering back to those strange mountains. Never have I experienced anything like this unique area of the United States.

As we were flying over Arizona toward the city, the thickness of the mountain terrain seemed eternal. Then suddenly we were upon a flat, dusty and widespread landscape: the city of Phoenix. It was like nothing I have ever seen. The last time I flew was 16 years ago when we lived in California for 3 months. Therefore, my face was pressed against the plane window like an excited little girl. I felt the smile and delight of God.

As we were getting ready to land in the "Valley of the Sun", I felt the Lord whisper, "This is your new land. This land is your land." Immediately I fell in love with this mystical city.

Every street traveled there holds wondrous views of mountains. These hills are nothing like the mountains in the east. They are all rocky and jagged. Every afternoon, white fluffy clouds settle over the mountains. It is as if God Himself is taking a seat on the peaks to watch over the city. I felt His presence so intensely there. I thought continually of Moses and God on the mountain of Sinai.

The land there is dirt, dirt, dirt! However there exists an unusual beauty. One cannot help but fall in love with the uniqueness of the land. The tallest trees are palm trees. There is tumbleweed and cactus. The blooms are breathtaking. Everywhere you look are flowers and blooms. The sky is of the bluest hue I have ever seen and the palm trees look majestic against the aqua sky.

The people there are of such diversity...much like here in Atlanta. The woman who checked us to to our hotel was from the Republic of Georgia. She was beautiful. She liked me!! HA HA!!! I believe people will listen to me in Phoenix when I share about Jesus! They loved my accent and I loved theirs.

The city is indeed mystical. I am looking forward to digging in and discovering the mysteries of this unusual land. I felt such a peace there. Yet the Lord showed us that there are many poor in spirit in this city. I will be writing more about this new adventure. We are truly leaping with the Lord and know there are many more exciting excursions ahead.

The Valley of the Sun

2008-08-20T12:20:00.000-07:00

You never know what tomorrow holds. However, we serve and follow an adventurous God. I never imagined five years ago that I would be living in Atlanta, Georgia. Five years later we find ourselves preparing to move 1600 miles across the United States to Phoenix,Arizona. Talk about suddenly! Three weeks ago we were wondering if God had forgotten us. Now we feel we are being swept up in a strong yet tender wind; swept away to a land we have never seen. I am excited about the adventure ahead. Oh to be carried by God while He is running! It is so fun. My energy level is better than ever. I find myself excited and laughing a lot...rolling on the floor and playing with my kids. I feel like a kid again. Something has changed and I am changing. Praise the Lord!

We will travel to Phoenix in our 15 passenger van. It will be three day trip and will drive across several states we have never set foot in. Hopefully we will stop along the way and enjoy some sights. We will pack fun snacks and games to have in the van. However, I will miss my oldest. He has a job here and has decided to stay. He has been with me just about every day for 18 years. It is time to let go of him. I have released him to God and peace fills my soul.

Here are some neat things I have learned about Phoenix.

-Half of the population of the entire state of Arizona is in Phoenix. In fifty years, the city has grown from 100,000 persons to 3 million.

-The cost of living in Phoenix is cheaper than the national average.

-More than 4 out of 10 persons who live in Phoenix say their personal quality of life has improved over the past year.

-Three out of ten people say there are too many people and one out of seven say it is too hot. People have been saying that since 1880.

-Phoenix is only 4 hours from San Diego. Many Phoenicians go to the beaches there for vacation.

-The summers are hot! Usually topping out at 120 degrees. But the humidity is low. In the winter the coolest day is usually around 68 to 70 degrees.

-Phoenix averages about 211 days of sunshine a year. An additional 85 days are only partly cloudy. That leaves only about 69 days of clouds or rain.

-Phoenix does not observe day light savings time.

-Some people leave soft, cushioned furniture outside. It stays nice and does not get moldy because there is not much humidity.

-Citrus trees are very popular. You can grow grass and beautiful flowers there. Foliage thrives there and it is like this all year around.

These are just a few tidbits I have learned about Phoenix. We will be visiting there this weekend. I will tell you more when we come back. Off we go to the "Valley of the Sun"!!!

An Evening Thought

2008-08-14T17:15:00.000-07:00

When you find your purpose and your passion, you will have to go through some pain. You know the phrase, "No Pain, No gain" This is so true in life. However, if you want to do God's work in serving Him and others, He will allow you to suffer. You will go through situations where you will question your own faith. You will go through circumstances where it feels like He has left you alone. You will experience gut wrenching heart ache because the people you thought you could trust and count on are judging you and ignoring you. Accusations will be poured upon you. They cannot see your heart.There will be at least one cross road in every believer's life where you will be tempted to turn away from God. I have been tempted lately..but for some reason I find myself more obsessed with my God. I love Him so....simple as that.

Sorry folks..I hate to sound cynical. But this is the honest truth. You know Jesus says that if you want to be His disciple you should count the cost, pick up your cross and follow Him. That is the only way.

But you know what? I would not trade the pain and the tests for anything. Do you know why? Because my pride is being broken...we all have it whether we want to admit it or not. And I can really and truly feel the pain of others. This is the crown of life and God is giving it to me. Not because I am so great and do everything right. But because I have hurt and felt alone and I can still love others with real depth. That can only be Him in me. The wounds of life are allowed by our Maker so that we may drink in His love. When the wounds are filled with that love, I am prepared to pour out to others. No this is not a working of my own, but a craft of the Maker of my heart.

One day I will have so much more to give others. But I will keep giving my love to the Lover of my soul. I will press on to give to others even in my lack. I will give in my pain. There is always someone hurting more than me and I will find them, whether in my house or across the street. Thank you Lord for setting me up for greater things. Thank you for moving me as You move. I feel so swaddled in your presence. I could not ask for more at this moment. The greatest blessings are mine. Thank you God for teaching me to feel deeply and for teaching me to let go of what I think I need in order that I may share with others. I am looking forward to the blessings ahead...I will have much and I will continue to love without reserve. And best of all...all the credit goes to YOU GOD!!! HALLELUJAH!

Embrace of Grace

2008-08-11T06:18:00.000-07:00

Twenty four years ago today I was a 19 year old girl in love with a sweet 20 year old guy. Twenty four years later I am a 43 year old woman in love with the same special but now 45 year old man. Today is our twenty fourth wedding anniversary. In looking back and remembering, I do not know how we made it through some of the tough and rough spots. However, the embrace of grace has held us. The embrace of grace has sustained us, humbled us, softened us, and blessed us. I would not trade the man I married for anyone else. I love you John. Happy Anniversary! Ange

More on Weightier Matters

2008-07-28T13:41:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was a milestone for our family. We took a few days and went to a house on Lake Hartwell. There was no Internet, cell phone connection, or cable TV. We had time to just enjoy being together as a family. The Lord was there with us.

There is nothing as special as the simple things. We get so busy with the "more important" matters of life that we so often forget to just stop and enjoy the simplest of God's blessings. Here are some simple things we enjoyed this weekend.

Short walks with the younger children.
Listening to the quiet trickles of the stream
while enjoying the playful flutters of butterflies
Stooping to notice the smallest of life
Tadpoles, baby frogs, and a mass of minnows.
Taking in the screams of delight over the smallest of matters.

Sitting around laughing, sharing memories,
Watching teenagers connect over cards and board games.
And savoring the site of a older child jumping on a trampoline with a younger sibling.
All the hugs, kisses and tickles are as balm to my weary heart.
The simplest of things are the weightier moments of life..
they bind us together..
God and Family...the Weightiest Blessings.
A father who loves his children enough to share his own weaknesses
Who takes time to pray with his family.Transparent before those he wants to appear the strongest
The very place of weakness turns out to be the very place of strength.
A father's vulnerable heart for his family makes him the hero to those closest to him.
The simplest of things...not money, not position, not even reputation.
But the simplicity of a love so pure
Carries the most weight of all!
I am grateful. My life is full. Wealthy in love, family, and faith.
Thank you Lord for showing up and reminding us what matters the most to You.

Thankful!! Grateful! Appreciative!!!

2008-07-22T06:41:00.000-07:00

I am blessed! I just want to express the gratefulness in my heart for all of God's many blessings. My grandmother taught me to pray the greatest prayer. She told me to lay in the bed at night before going to sleep and to list as many things I could think of that I am thankful for. God greatly blesses the grateful heart.

Lord, I thank you that You are the One who makes me grateful. You have made me glad. You are the source of my thankfulness and my joy.

Thank you for this day.
Thank you for every breath you give me to breathe.
Thank you that I opened my eyes this morning to see the beautiful faces of my husband and children.
Thank you for giving me a home filled with laughter, voices, light, food, clothing, and comfort
Thank you for my ears..that I can hear so many sounds...the birds chirping, the children singing, the whispers of Your heart.
Thank you for your provision for this day...for mercy, grace, love, and for Your affection and attention.
Thank you for who you are Lord...so kind and long suffering, so patient and understanding.
Thank you for family and friends...those who stand with us in tough times...who have given freely and truly rejoice with us in good times.
This is a great day to rejoice...it is a new day. I will rejoice and be glad.

Today is my youngest daughter's 4th birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER ROSE.

Weightier Matters

2008-07-20T12:05:00.000-07:00

A couple of days I received an email from an old friend who lives in another community. She shared that they will soon be moving to Alaska to live a dream that has been in their hearts for some time now. Since it has been several years since I have been in contact with her, I was taken back by this huge change approaching them.

Approximately 8 years ago, God had blessed them with a beautiful farm. The house was over one-hundred years old. Therefore, the house as well as the land needed much tending to. God gave them a vision for this farm, so they set their strong hands to work and labored for years to fulfill the vision they had for this property. After succeeding and developing the land they had further dreams to have a goat dairy farm.

To sum up the story, this family has heard God's voice to lay down and to let go of their dream with the farm and move to Alaska to run a business there in an aircraft repair industry. What touched me the most about her testimony was how God had touched their hearts on the more weighty matters of life: love and mercy.

She went on to share about how their children had been trained well in the spiritual disciplines of prayer and prophesy,faith, and enduring through tough times. However she shared that common respect had been lost in their family through strife. Manifestations of this were nick-picking, coarse jesting and the like. They became grieved and began to repent to God and to ask Him to have His way with the family.

This ministered to me so strongly as it challenged me to examine my own life and family and to ask where we had maybe lost our way in these very truths. One can imagine with nine children in various stages of growth, there will be plenty of nick-picking and getting off the path.

Corporately. there is much conversing about the dreams of our hearts and what we hope for our futures. What I am realizing is that yes, God holds very dear the dreams of our hearts. More than likely He put them there. However, do we sometimes get side tracked by the vision that we overlook the here and now? Do we often forget the simpler things of love and mercy and fail to live them in our own homes? What good is a dream if we cannot live in harmony and forgiveness in this present time?

Life is so much more than my dreams. Here is my heart on this.

True Life...
So much more than what I am called to bring to this world.
Yes, I have a dream. So do you. We were created to dream, to imagine and to create.
God has given me a voice and abilities.
What profit are they though
If I lose that which is of the weightiest matters?
Loving,
Forgiving,
Extending grace even when I feel it wasn't my fault?
Offering mercy to those who cannot even receive it...but giving it anyway?
Reaching out when it hurts the most?
Our maturity is tested in the furnace of relationships.
We are called to lavish love without strings attached.
Healing comes in obeying the most difficult request of giving that which we find so hard to release.
Our own rights,our own opinions, our own stance.
Losing love along the way is the only thing to fear.
May we hold dear the weightier matters.
Then we will not lose our way.
And the outcome of our dreams will be the fruit of love...pure love
And contentment will be our resting place as we wait and as we extend loving kindness to all..
Whether we receive anything or not.

If you are going through a difficult time in a relationship, I would have you ponder this question. If you knew that 95% of the problem was the other person's fault, are you willing to acknowledge that the other 5% is your fault? If so, would you be willing to work on changing the 5% you are responsible for? That small percentage could be the very key to your healing and to the healing of your relationship.

(This statement came from the book, Every Woman's Marriage)

Black Eyed Susan

2008-06-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

On Being Poured

2008-06-17T06:06:00.000-07:00

Since I have been writing from the first chapter of James, let me ask you this question. Have you been feeling like you are being strung along from trial to trial to trial? Do you ever wonder if there is any relief? To be honest I am in a place where I wonder if the rest of my life will be trial after trial after trial with not much rest in between. I have been wrestling with this thought and have been praying for God's mercy to help me have a better perspective and acceptance of the things we face in life.

When I write about things it certainly is not to show what I know as though I have arrived in those areas. The writing is usually an expression of the very things God is dealing with in me and the issues I am wrestling with. I want to be known as someone who is real, not religious and self righteous. I feel that God wants us to be a relatable people. This means we need to be open with others that we in fact struggle with the same things and that we are just as helpless without Him as the next person. Does this mean we are to go around spreading negativity? No, but there is a door that opens into the heart and lives of others when we can share that we also struggle in our faith at times.

To be perfectly honest I love God very much. However I am a bit irritated with Him in some things. I have already told Him and He knows anway. But I understand and know that He has my best interest at heart. He is into transformation, not stagnation. His will is for us to be poured. You ask, "What does it mean to be poured?"

A couple of weeks ago I came across a description of this concept and it really helped me to better understand what God has been doing in my personal life. I pray very often asking God to make me more like Him. I ask Him to teach me how to love like Him. Needless to say that is a dangerous prayer to pray and a very uncomfortable one at that. However, it is the prayer He longs for us to pray.

In Jeremiah 48, the prophet Jeremiah begins to prophecy over the people of Moab. The Moabites were a very paganist and idolatrous people who lived across the Dead Sea east of the Land of Israel.God pronounced judgement on Moab through Jeremiah and identifies what Moab's problem was. Verse 11 says, "Moab has been at ease since his youth." Why was Moab so morally weak? The answer is a life of ease. "Moab has never been disturbed, neither has he been emptied from vessel to vessel, nor has he gone into exile. Therefore he retains his flavor and his aroma has not changed." (Jeremiah 48:11)

We have all read and heard about how God transforms us as a potter forms the clay. However, I would like to share another example of transformation and it has to do with the making of wine. When wine is fermented initially it is a combination of what is sweet and what is bitter. (That sounds like me)

Long ago wine was poured into a skin and was left there for a long time.After some time, the bitter part would fall to the bottom and become dregs. After another stretch of time, what was on the surface..the sweet stuff, was poured into another skin for another increment of time until more dregs were formed. Then after some more time, it would be poured into another skin and the same process would be repeated. This continued until there were no dregs at all because of what had been removed through the entire process. The end result was pure wine.

Unfortunately, Moab was never poured from trial to trial to trial so they remained stagnant which resulted in bitterness. This really helps me to see why we sometimes go through a continual process of trials. It is the hand of God and His work of pouring us. If you feel like you are seeing more dregs in your life, then be encouraged. God is allowing you to sit so the impurities of your soul will settle. If you feel empty, then it may very well be that you have just been poured out. Now you may have to sit a while that more dregs can settle.

When we can truly see the purpose of our struggles, then we can truly count them all joy. On another note, I really can see the sweet wine being poured as some of it splashes out onto others.

Lord, help us to not resent the process of being poured and poured and poured again. Help us to embrace the process and even trust that we can still be a blessing to others in meantime. Let the wine of Your joy sprinkle others as you transfer us from one wineskin to another. Thank you for teaching us and reminding those of us who may have already known these things but need to hear it again. May we remain humble in Your sight and remain teachable. We know we need review lessons so many times as we forget so often. We appreciate your reminders Lord. In Jesus Name.

NO GREATER LOVE

2008-06-05T08:06:00.000-07:00

I am currently reading NO GREATER LOVE, by MOTHER TERESA. If you want your heart and spirit to be stirred as to what this christian life is all about you should read this book. I thought I knew and I have so much more to learn...yet just this week my eyes have been opened to a greater understanding of the heart of our Savior.

I am tired of religious facades. God is crying out for those who will say yes to Him regardless of how dirty we get...regardless of how bad someone smells and regardless of my own state of spiritual and physical poverty. We must eat the bread of His presence and desire nothing more that simply that depth of intimacy if we are going to love like He loves.

Be blessed by this excerpt from Mother Teresa:

"LOVE JESUS GENEROUSLY. LOVE HIM TRUSTFULLY, WITHOUT LOOKING BACK AND WITHOUT FEAR.GIVE YOURSELF FULLY TO JESUS, HE WILL USE YOU TO ACCOMPLISH GREAT THINGS ON THE CONDITION THAT YOU BELIEVE MUCH MORE IN HIS LOVE THAN IN YOUR WEAKNESS. BELIEVE IN HIM, TRUST IN HIM WITH A BLIND AND ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE BECAUSE HE IS JESUS.HE IS JESUS. BELIEVE THAT JESUS AND JESUS ALONE IS AND LIFE, AND SANCTITY IS NOTHING BUT THAT SAME JESUS INTIMATELY LIVING IN YOU;THEN HIS HAND WILL BE FREE WITH YOU.

WHO IS JESUS TO ME?
JESUS IS THE WORD MADE FLESH.
JESUS IS THE BREAD OF LIFE.
JESUS IS THE VICTIM OFFERED FOR OUR SINS ON THE CROSS.
JESUS IS THE WORD TO BE SPOKEN
JESUS IS THE TRUTH TO BE TOLD.
JESUS IS THE WAY TO BE WALKED
JESUS IS THE LIGHT TO BE LIT.
JESUS IS THE LIFE TO BE LIVED.
JESUS IS THE LOVE TO BE LOVED.
JESUS IS THE JOY TO BE SHARED.
JESUS IS THE PEACE TO BE GIVEN
JESUS IS THE HUNGRY TO BE FED.
JESUS IS THE THIRSTY TO BE SATIATED
JESUS IS THE NAKED TO BE CLOTHED.
JESUS IS THE HOMELESS TO BE TAKEN IN.
JESUS IS THE SICK TO BE HEALED.
JESUS IS THE LONELY TO BE LOVED.
JESUS IS THE UNWANTED TO BE WANTED.
JESUS IS THE LEPER TO WASH HIS WOUNDS.
JESUS IS THE BEGGAR TO GIVE HIM A SMILE.
JESUS IS THE DRUNKARD TO LISTEN TO HIM.
JESUS IS THE MENTALLY ILL TO PROTECT HIM.
JESUS IS THE LITTLE ONE TO EMBRACE HIM.
JESUS IS THE BLIND TO LEAD HIM.
JESUS IS THE DUMB TO SPEAK FOR HIM.
JESUS IS THE CRIPPLED TO WALK WITH HIM.
JESUS IS THE DRUG ADDICT TO BEFRIEND HIM.
JESUS IS THE PROSTITUTE TO REMOVE FROM DANGER AND BEFRIEND HER.
JESUS IS THE PRISONER TO BE VISITED.
JESUS IS THE OLD TO BE SERVED.

Count it All Joy? Part 2

2008-06-04T07:29:00.000-07:00

If you read "Count It All Joy?" Part One, you will want to read this. In the last blog I wrote about what it means to count and to consider something all joy based on James 1. Secondly, I shared about how we must know certain things to even be able to count something as joyful, especially through trying and testing times in our lives.

James 1:3 states that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. This is what we need to know. If I do not know that the test will produce something good then I will have no hope or motivation to move forward. Each time I go through a trial and allow it to do the work of strengthening me, then I know that when the next obstacle comes, I am empowered to push through and endure. Verse 4 says that perseverance must finish its work that we may be mature and complete. God's heart is that we grow to maturity and to wholeness in Him. This is the demonstration and evidence of God's heart and best for our lives. It is the manifestation of His embrace and kiss upon our fragile hearts.

Sometimes it seems that when we are going through troubling seasons of our lives that God is distant. What we need to know is that He is closer than ever and that His affections are in operation toward us in a special way. Psalm 131 basically expresses,

LORD, MY HEART IS NOT HAUGHTY
NOR MY EYES LOFTY
NEITHER DO I CONCERN MYSELF WITH GREAT MATTERS
NOR WITH THINGS TOO PROFOUND FOR ME
SURELY I HAVE CALMED AND QUIETED MY SOUL
LIKE A WEANED CHILD WITH HIS MOTHER
LIKE A WEANED CHILD IS MY SOUL WITHIN ME
O ISRAEL,HOPE IN THE LORD
FROM THIS TIME FORTH AND FOREVER.

This Psalm uses the example of a weaned child to show a perfect picture of maturity. In our human mind we define maturity in a way that exemplifies independence and self sufficiency. However, God likens maturity to a weaned child. This child is usually one or two years old. He or she is walking and getting into a lot of things...many times making numerous messes. However this child learns many things through the messes he makes. Furthermore, when the child becomes weary, fearful or hurt, he rushes straight back to the place where he once was nursed...in his mother's lap.

Maturity is dependence. This child no longer needs his mother milk. He is eating solids. However, he always goes to the place he feels nurtured; the place where he knows true love. The child goes to that safe place and he sits without questions. A little child in his mother's lap is content and does not need to know anymore than that his mommy is simply there. He does not need to know about tomorrow or what is next. There is peace and contentment.

Likewise, when we are facing pressures too tough to bear at times, we need to picture ourselves as this little toddler. Psalm 46:10 says "Be still and know I am God." "Be Still" in Hebrew text means to let go. Letting go and allowing God to hold us, embrace us and love us is the mark of maturity. It is all about the art of falling into His arms. I so want to learn to be better at sitting in His lap and leaning against chest. When I learn to do this, I can be assured that when He gets up to go somewhere I am in His arms and I am moving with Him. Oh the thought of this truth and the joy of this reality. May we take hold of Him and never let go.

I have more to say about this thing called joy. Check back because I am going to share about what a life of ease produces and what a life of submission produces. There is a lot to be said about this...so stayed tuned in. Peace.

Count it All Joy?

2008-06-02T13:53:00.000-07:00

Agnes was walking the crowded streets of Calcutta, India one day and noticed a very ill woman lying within a doorway to a building. The diseased woman was so oblivious to her surroundings as rats nibbled constantly on her toes. Agnes was so taken back by the sight that she approached the woman, picked her up, and managed to tote her to the nearest hospital. The hospital staff was very rude and aloof as they scorned, "Take her away. She will die anyway." Agnes, being a small woman in stature did not allow her size to hinder her. She boldly insisted that they admit the terminally ill woman. After much struggle and arguing the medical staff allowed the woman to be admitted.

Shortly after Agnes left the hospital she began to contemplate all the people she had noticed who were like the sick woman she had carried to the hospital. She then preceded to go to the government to ask for a vacant building. Her request was granted. From that day on, Agnes made it her life's mission to help sick and hurting people. She took in many diseased and dying individuals and provided a comfortable and clean environment to spend their last days. She and her helpers were abused daily as the Hindu leaders as well as followers threw stones at them as they transported sickly individuals into the refuge. The religious people of the community reported them to the police. As the officer entered the building he saw Agnes lovingly bathing a sick woman who had maggots crawling out of open sores on her body. The officer was so touched that he went back and told the religious leaders that he would remove Agnes and her helpers from the facilities on the condition that they themselves would gather enough of their own family members to go in and take over the good work taking place there! Hallelujah!

This is only a small section of the story of Mother Teresa's life. She was a small woman with a big heart. That enormous heart allowed her to accomplish many things during her life in showing the love of Jesus to the hurting. Her acts of kindness and compassion touched many who saw her in action. Her life was a witness because she lived it. I am sure she shared words about the Lord with those she lovingly touched, but her greatest witness was in the way she gave of herself. Only a heart filled with God can move the hearts of others.

This past Wednesday I shared this story with the women in our life group because we were sharing about perseverance. If there was ever a time in my own life to press through regardless of the circumstances it is now. We read and talked about James 1: 2-4 which states, "Count it all joy my brethren, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." I know the Lord has been speaking to me and teaching me about persevering in times when it seems like it would be easy to just throw in the towel and take a broader road.

So the question is: How do we practically count it all joy when we are facing pressures from all direction? The word says to do it. But how do we do it?
Here are some things that I need to grow in and I hope you will be encouraged in this also.

First, to count something means to consider. It means to think forward, to look ahead to the benefit and to look past the trauma of the moment because there is no joy in immediate pain. Thinking forward is a habit we must form. James 1:2 says to count it ALL joy. Not a little bit of joy but a fullness of joy. Joy is not the same thing as happiness. Happiness is a fleeing emotion. It is with you a moment then "boom" some circumstance comes along and happiness is gone. God desires to bless us with happy moments throughout our lives. However, His ultimate plan is to do a work so deep within our spirits that joy will be manifested in our lives.

In Galatians, Paul says that one of the fruits of the spirit is joy. Joy is of the spirit. Happiness is of the soul. How can we count it all joy when we face trials and disappointments? The key is thinking forward by contemplating the promises of God. There are thousands of promises in God's word.

Verse three says we know the testing of our faith produces perseverance. Here the word "knowing" is key. We have to know certain things before we can do them. If I do not know what God says about Himself and what he says about me, then it will make it impossible to do anything. If He says He is producing something in me then I can look into His love letter to me and read what He is actually producing. This in turn helps me to think forward instead of thinking about my problems.

We must develop new habits of focusing on the promises instead of the problems. What if we took one promise each day from God's word and thought on that one promise? There would be enough promises to last for thousands of days. Our thinking would change and others would be changed because of what has been cultivated in us. The word of God does something supernatural. It transforms us because the words are straight from the heart of the One who cannot break His promises.

When John and I were dating, we would write love letters to each other almost daily as we were living in different towns. Each day I looked forward to going to my mail box and receiving his words of love to me. The words I would read gave me hope for the future we were planning together and I looked forward to what was ahead. This is an example of thinking forward through reading and receiving the word of God, His love letter to you and to me.

This is becoming a long blog so I will continue this soon. There is more to say about perseverance so check back for the next blog about wholeness and maturity. I am writing this to myself more than anyone else and am challenged that in this season we need to focus on the Promises of God so that we may continue to press forward to the upward call of Christ Jesus.

God Wants You to Notice

2008-05-22T14:35:00.000-07:00

He is the God of the big and the God of the little. All are the same to Him. It is amazing how easily we can become desensitized to the workings of God in our lives. It seems like we get caught up at times in chasing signs and wonders and we do not even notice what is going on in our own homes and in our own lives. On the other hand we become so comfortable at times when circumstances are agreeable. Yea, there is money in the bank and I have paid all my bills this month. Life is good right now, so kick back relax and enjoy. How I fear this position of comfort. Then there is the fear when bills are not getting paid or some bad news comes. We are faced with the temptation to turn our eyes away from the One who sits on the throne to the activity swirling around us.

Personally, I am learning to be more grateful for the tough times. I know that when things are really not going my way, I am challenged to fix my eyes upon what is actually real and that which actually matters. Hard times are a gift because it means God is waiting for you to start looking for Him and calling out for Him. "HELP JESUS!" And then He comes running and you really start to notice things you never noticed before.

Our family is seeing the handiwork of God here at home. I have been calling out for Him to just come and be with us, to stay and never leave us. I have prayed, "God you can come in and take all of our troubles away. However, that is not enough any longer. I just want You. All that I need You are. You are my sufficiency!" And He has been showing up in neat and sweet little ways. Yes, His fire comes before Him, but His mercy flows from within Him. He gives us His best. We should desire all of Him.

A few weeks ago, someone gave me 50 dollars to buy something for myself. I was told to spend it on something I would like. So I tucked that pretty little bill in my purse for the day I could go shopping for a nice little dress. A few days later, we were at a worship service and I kept noticing a young lady there. I sensed the Holy Spirit saying, "Give her your 50 dollar bill." So after the service I gave her the money. She was so blessed and I believe God touched her with His love. She is a young mother who works hard and puts her family first.

A few weeks had past and we had just arrived home from my son's graduation ceremony.My sister in law and my father in law were with us. As I started to go up the stairs to change clothes, they stopped me and handed me a card. They said, "We felt like the teacher should receive a gift also. Inside of the card was one hundred dollars. I immediately remembered the fifty I had given away and God showed me that he rewards double fold. Now I am not trying to toot my horn as it was a bit difficult to give up the fifty dollars. I just want to testify that God is active in even the smaller details of our lives. We must stop, be still and notice the seemingly smaller signs and wonders. There are reminders all around that He is with us and that He is showing us His affection.

Another testimony is that last week our bank account had dwindled down really low. So after dinner, John told everyone that we were going to pray for God's provision. We started off thanking God for being faithful to our family. Then we took turns asking the Lord to move on behalf of our family. We went around and prayed for each other and affirmed one another in prayer through blessing and encouragement. As we were praying, the phone rang. It was good news that money was on the way. The next day, the money was in our account.

In addition, our son Bradley has been praying for a car. He is looking for a job and has been looking for a vehicle to drive back and forth to work. He received about 600dollars in gifts for graduation. His friend Maddy, has a car that she has been wanting to sell for 900 dollars. He knew he did not have enough to buy the car. So he prayed about it (I had been praying too :) ) His friend called Bradley and told him she decided to cut the price so he could buy it. She took 400 dollars off of her asking price of 900 dollars. Now he can buy the car !! Praise the Lord.

I just feel like God is walking around in our house. He is tending to us. He is taking care of us. These seemingly little things are evidence of His presence and of His hand moving. I love Him so and am so glad that He lives in us and with us. My heart is that others would come to notice more and more the activity of God in their everyday lives. Some of my best prayers lately have been in the bathroom. You cannot get anymore practical than that. God is real. He is present Ask for more. He will come. Ask Him to help you to notice more of what He is doing. God is at work and I cannot contain my excitement of walking with,living with and loving on Him.

In the Back Yard

2008-05-20T14:45:00.001-07:00

Right in the back yard,just beyond the edge
Someone is crying out to be rescued.
One need not go very far
To hear the shattering of hearts.
Someone is dying for a word of hope.
And for a hand in action.
So so busy with our own little worlds
Thinking we have enough problems of our own.
Someone is heaving with pain...they will never feel the same
Nothing will seem normal again.
Marred with the thoughts...
Life is too hard and just isn't worth living
Why do I get so caught up in me?
I abhor my self pity.
There is a woman down the street
Whose husband is gone.
There is a family who has only a few dollars
To buy food.It wont last the week.
Depression has gobbled up
Precious ones so loved
By the Heavenly Father.
What can I give them Lord?
When I saw her tears today
I could have sworn I saw You
In her face of despair
I just knew You were there.
Just want to be where You are
In the home or down the street
Don't have to go too far.
Just right in the back yard
There is a world left wanting.
I will give what I have
Even if I have to do without.
We think we need so much
all we need is You and
a new heart to be Your traveling companion.
Do not have to go far at all
to see where the crying people are
so close in the back yard.

Yes the needy and the hurting are right in our back yard. There is a food pantry about 3 miles from my house so I have been going there and learning their mentoring process. Today I met two precious ladies who were in need. One of the women has bipolar disorder and has been in the hospital with severe depression. The other lady is a mom of 3. She was laid off from her job a few months ago and they cannot make it solely on her husband's income. She cried when we took her into the pantry room to let her pick out her groceries and felt so bad about taking them. It was so wonderful to encourage her to take all she needed and it was all free!Oh the joy of giving. I want to give like that. I desire to get things so I can give them away. I want to go through my house and find things to give. Oh the joy of giving hope. And the added blessing was that these people were so grateful. The young mother hugged my neck and called us angels. I did not even buy the food but was just there to listen and to help her. What a blessing today was. What a joy it is to be a small part of giving others the hope of Jesus Christ.

FALLING BACK ON.........

2008-05-16T05:21:00.000-07:00

This week I have been thinking about the places the Lord has us in this season. The words "falling back on" has continued to ring in my spirit. And the prayer that yes Lord you are drawing Your bride into a place of falling back onto You. You want nothing more and we have nothing more to fall back on but the sufficiency of You grace. As we fall back into His arms He takes hold of us and we move with Him. And he carries us. Oh God You are all we have, yet you are all we need. All we need YOU ARE. We desire You only our God and King.

My friend Peggy sent me this song this morning. It was a splash of Living Water to my heart. Listen to the words and let them soak your soul in the presence of our tenderhearted King. Click on the second heart of the You Tube Videos above. Be blessed.

Desperate Times Call for Desperate Prayers

2008-04-30T04:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we received phone calls on our home phone and both cell phones from the High School regarding our son Tommy. Immediately I knew something was not right. John was at the store when his cell phone rang. He answered and spoke with the guidance counselor and she explained that something had taken place that day and that he needed to come to the school.

When John arrived, our son Tommy and another student along with the principle, another parent and guidance counselor were sitting in the office. The events that had taken place was a bit disturbing and a sharp reminder of how we desperately need to cover our youth and their schools.

At this school there is a young man who Tommy has been around a few times. Each time he has been around him, the young man has made jokes about killing people. In fact he has had counseling for emotional instability and was even sent away from home for a season because he killed his neighbor's dog.

Yesterday, Tommy was in the middle of a conversation that took place between a young lady and this particular young man. She made a comment in a joking way that she wanted to kill another young lady because she was going out with her "ex-boyfriend" . The young man told her he would do it for 30 dollars. Someone overheard these exchange of words and reported it to the principle's office. Everyone who was around, including Tommy, was taken to the office for questioning. Investigators were even called in. Needless to say, the school principle and other officials did not take the incident lightly. I am very thankful.

In fact the principle told John that they are looking further into this young man's situation. When John arrived home with Tommy yesterday and they shared what had happened I felt such a sense of urgency to pray covering over our youth and our schools as never before. We have been able to turn on the TV lately and hear about violence amongst teenagers. In fact last night, I watched in horror as several teenage girls abused and beat up another young lady while taping it on video. This victim now has nerve damage in her face and she even had swelling on her brain due to the continuous blows she received. She could possibly have permanent damage to her sight and to her hearing.

I was thanking the Lord over and over yesterday that Tommy came home safely from school. Something that may have seemed like a joke was no joke. It was a learning experience for him as well as for us as parents that we need to take our responsibility to cover our children in prayer very seriously. I also spent time in prayer for this disturbed young man who has murderous thoughts. We need to teach our teenagers to be watchmen on the wall for their schools. For some reason out of a couple of thousand students Tommy was exposed to this incident. Maybe the Lord's heart is for our teens to have a wake up call in that yes, they are called to be watchmen for their schools. It could be a matter of life or death.

We live in desperate times which calls for desperate prayer. This is no time to fear, but a season to rise up and wage war on behalf of this generation. Our prayers for them can make all the difference and I plan to continue to stand watch in the spot on the wall that only I can fill. it may be only one little space that I fill, but I want to be obedient to stand in that little gap. One arrow from the enemy could fly through that opening should I fail to stand my watch. I praise the Lord for the wake up call!

YOU ARE GROWING UP

2008-04-22T13:46:00.000-07:00

Just a few days ago I was having lunch in Chick Fil A with my oldest daughter Sara. As we were sitting there I looked up and saw a truck at the intersection. Across the top was written in large letters, "Another delivery is on the way." These words just jumped out at me as if there was something someone wanted me to know. "Could it be you God?" I quietly prayed. I am not one to be asking God for a sign. In fact before I saw these words I was not even thinking about anything that would stir such a question and prayer.

Obviously the Lord wanted to speak something to me because I have been in a season of rapid growth. Yes. I am growing up and so are you. It is a time God is moving quickly. According to J. Oswald Sanders, spiritual maturity is not a position we reach or a goal we achieve. It is a life we find ourselves living. Think sbout your life. Have you been treading through some major changes lately? Then you may very well be experiencing a growth spurt in the spirit.

As a young child I would often have aches and pains in my legs. I would feel the discomfort mostly at night when I would go to bed. The ache sometimes would keep me awake. However, my parents would tell me it was okay, that I was just having growing pains.

Similarly, as we grow and mature in our character, in our faith, and in our relationship with God we are given increased ability with time to digest more of His truth. This means that we not only have a greater understanding, but a deeper acceptance of His truth. This is where the phrase "Another delivery is on the way" enters in. This growth can be very painful at times and even tempt us into unrest and anxiety. Growth is accelerated in times of testing and difficulty. Yes we can obtain growth through knowledge, but the greatest increase comes in times of adversity and pressure.

In Sander's book, "Spiritual Maturity" deliverance of faith is explained. I would like to share some of his thoughts. Many times when we are going through tests and hardship we are on the outlook for the deliverance. In the book of Daniel, chapter 3 Sahdrack, Meshach, and Abednego were thrown into a fiery pit because they refused to bow down and worship the golden god that Nebuchadnezzar had errected for all of his people to worship.

This controlling King made his demands, but the three young men replied, "Your threat means nothing to us. If you throw us in the fire, the God we serve can rescue us from the roaring furnace and from anything else you might cook up. But even if he does not rescue us , it would not make a bit of difference. We still would not serve your Gods or worship the gold statue you set up. (Daniel 3: 16-18)

Nebuchadnezzar's face turned purple with anger and he ordered the furnace to be turned up seven times hotter that usual. Strong men bound them up and threw them into the furnace . Because of the heat, the strong men were burned up. However, the three young men were seen walking freely around in the fire. And what is even more exciting was that Jesus was down there walking around with them. Splendid!

The lesson of this story is packed with insight for walking through the trials of life. However, the one thing that really impacted me is that many times we are so focused and wrapped up in finding and coming to our deliverance that we place our hope in it. The three young men who were threated had such a deep rooted trust that they were not even worried should God choose not to deliver them from being tossed into the fire. Sure enough, they were plumeted into the violent flames. God did not deliver them from the furnace, but he delivered them in it. Sanders points out that "we must get away from the idea that deliverance from a trial is the highest form of spiritual blessing".

Jesus said that in this world you will have tribulation. The greater the tribulation the greater the impact we will have as individuals and churches. We are deceived if we think the less problems we have and the more comfort we entail, we are in the best place to reach people.

I thought of Paul whose conditions were never "just right" to do the ministry and to reach others, He was constantly being tested and always faced persecution. Yet he did the work of the ministry with joy and power. Another of Sanders quotes is "we learn more in a few days in the fiery furnace than we would learn in years out of it."

We must be careful not to grumble when the delivery is not made in the way we envisioned it. Many times when we fall into hardship we are faithful to wait but the "tudes" we carry are often not attractive. Things are not going my way and I start to have a bad attitude. There is good news. We have the power to change those negative attitudes by starving them. Yes, starve them until they die. You see, these three men in the fire could have fallen into distress when their lives were threatened. They could have taken on the negative and even turned against the God they proclaimed to trust. However, they gloried in the tribulation because they knew that God had good in mind for them no matter how it all turned out.

We must take heed to this example. We must choose to proclaim, "God will deliver me and even if He chooses not too, I will love Him anyway. I will serve Him anyway. I will love others anyway because my hope is in the DELIVERER, not in the delivery of the deliverance!!

What kind of furnace are do you find yourself in today? How are you handling it? Are you grumbling? Are you stewing inwardly and finding yourself being critical of the way things are being done in your home, work place or church? Maybe you are in place of waiting and things are not going the way you had hoped. We are constantly faced with changes. People change, circumstances change, the weather changes: nothing is constant. However, there is One who never changes. He is the Author and Finisher of your faith. He who began great things in you is faithful to complete that work. Your Father leaves nothing undone and incomplete.

The reason that the three young men in the furnace could stand with confidence in the midst of the trial and the unknown was because they kept their heart fixed upon the Deliverer not the deliverance. They stood on Christ the Solid Rock and did not sink into dispair and distress. May we all be challenged to exercise our faith and learn to lean on the Everlasting Arms of Jesus no matter what the pain. You are growing up and that it good. Yes it hurts. However, we have many promises from the heart of our unchanging God. All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose and plan. He will keep you in perfect peace as you keep your flow of thoughts upon Him.

An Adventure to Share

2008-04-14T11:51:00.000-07:00

About a month ago John and I had our first interview in hopes of receiving a grant for Not4Saken, a ministry to help single parent families. Not4Saken is a part of the Leaping Hearts Ministries we started last year. We were a bit discouraged as we left the interview because we just felt like one of many who ask for funding for non-profit organizations. Our presentation was not elaborate and we could not answer many of the questons asked. In addition, the gentlemen who interviewed us shared with us that many people and organizations ask them for money. However, he did not say no and expressed that he would be in touch.

Several weeks passed and we received an email that they wanted to give us a matching grant. This meant that for every 5oo dollars we received in gifts they would match it. The maximum they will match is 3000 dollars. At first this sounded a bit discouraging as I was thinking about how we would raise the 3000 dollars in order to get the matching grant.

Last week, I was falling into the fickleness mode again and felt a wave of doubt rising about the whole thing. Every time this happens, I just lay it before God. There is no need to hide or lie to God that my faith is weakening and that doubts are swelling. In the midst of that sinking feeling, God so graciously came and brought more confirmation that we are moving in the right direction with this ministry. I received an email from a lady who goes through estate homes and gives things away that are left from the estate sales. She communicated to me that she had just worked through a home that had a lot of things we could use for Not4Saken.

It is amazing to watch God work as the owner of this home was a 50 year old man who suddenly passed away of a massive heart attack. He had not been sick and had no symptoms. It was a sudden and tragic death. He was not married, had no children, but he lived a very full life helping different churches and businesses install large sound systems and building structures. He also helped install some of the interior structures of the Atlanta Aquarium.

My heart was deeply touched as his sister,Kelly, met us at the home and helped us load the items into our van. She was so kind and spoke so lovingly of her brother whose life had ended so suddenly. This sweet lady was of such a small frame but her physical strength amazed me as she willingly without complaint assisted us in loading large pieces of furniture into our van. As I was watching her I felt the Lord impressing on me that this was a woman of great inner strength as well as physical strength.

My gratitude to the Lord is beyond words to describe. I am beginning to understand more and more as to why He does things in ways we do not understand. He could have provided us with a grant that would not have to be matched. However, He chose to bless us with a matching grant so that we could meet precious people like Kelly. I am so happy I met her today. My heart is blessed more and more as God connects us with more and more people. Each day is an adventure and I am looking forward to the future and all that will unfold through the gracious workings of our marvelous Father. He wants us to connect with others. It is obvious. How great is the measure of His love.

FOR MY THOUGHTS ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS, NOR ARE YOUR WAYS MY WAYS,SAYS THE LORD. FOR AS THE HEAVENS ARE HIGHER THAN THE EARTH,SO ARE MY WAYS HIGHER THAN YOUR WAYS,AND MY THOUGHTS THAN YOUR THOUGHTS. ISAIAH 55:8-9

Confidence Breeds Confidence-A Lesson in Leading

2008-03-05T08:43:00.000-08:00

"I think I can! I think I can!" the Little Engine replied as he pulled the long and heavy weight of the long train up the towering mountain. Other large and seemingly capable engines were asked to do the job but they refused. It may have been due to the condition of their engines. One may have been fearful, another complacent. Whatever the reasons the task was given to a simple little engine with a lot of confidence and a huge dose of availability.

This old time American Story Book is packed with the value of optimism. Critics say it is the metaphor of the American Dream. I say it is more so the metaphor of God's dream. His dream for us.

Obviously the Little Engine was no giant. There was no outward appearance that would win the confidence or respect of others.It was a simple "I think I can." that brought this outwardly puny little engine great victory and success. He did not seek fame or recognition. He just saw something that needed to be done and stepped in to do it. In a sense, the Little Engine's confidence was in something greater than himself. Just as Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

The other day as I was visiting with a friend, she shared with me a revelation that God gave to her mother. She said that there is not a verse in the Bible stating that God will never give us more than we can bear. Did the little engine pull more than he could bear in the natural? Yes. It took a miracle and much confidence to be able to pull the entire length of that train up a mountain. The fact is that God at times gives us more that we can bear or pull because it is His strength that enables us to bear under weights in our lives. If we could bear things alone we would not need our God who says His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

This also reminds me of David and Goliath (1 Samuel 17). David was the youngest and seemingly weakest of eight sons. Goliath was calling out a man from the Israelite army to fight him. When Goliath defied the armies of God, they quaked with fear. (1 Samuel 17:11). David's three oldest and "seemingly well fit for the job" brothers folded in terror. One day, as David was tending his father's sheep, he was sent by his father to take food to his brothers and to check on them. As David arrived and inquired of this giant's demands, David volunteered to fight him. His brothers ridiculed him as they had little respect for the little brother who only tended scrawny sheep.

As the story continues, David went out to face the giant with only his staff, five smooth stones and a sling. The only armor he possessed was the armor of the Most High God. AS he faced the nearly 10 foot tall giant whose spear head itself weighed 15 pounds,he looked up into his eyes and boldly stated, "You come to me with a sword and a spear and a battle axe, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defiled. This assembly will know that there is an extraordinary God in Israel. And everyone gathered here will know that God doesn't save by means of a sword and spear. The battle belongs to God-He's handing you to us on a platter!"(1 Samuel 17:45-47)
We all know the ending. David did just that. Goliath was dead meat with no head after the fact. Now this is confidence and confidence is contagious. David was a man after God's heart and in the beginning he stood alone. God did the impossible through a young man who was only willing.

With this kind of confidence look what David did with the God who gave him sufficient strength. When God gives us His confidence what are we supposed to do with it? According to John C. Maxwell's book, "Be a People Person", we are to keep refueling it. "Confidence is not constant but fluctuates according to our success and failure ratio.
We all have defeats which occasionally and temporarily lower our confidence level. If you accept the fact that you will not be outstanding in everything you attempt, you will not be devastated when your best is not good enough."

God given confidence is meant by God to be contagious. It will spread throughout your sphere of influence. There were no giant killers in Saul's army because they shrunk in fear of the giant. However, David was one man with a great amount of God confidence. David the giant killer became king. Many giant killers rose up afterwards. Powerful giant slaying kings became a common commodity in the army under David's leadership.
This very thing demonstrates that it takes a giant-killer to make another giant killer. As you grow closer to God the more bold and confident you become. Then your friends, family and others around you will increase in their own confidence levels.

We must remember that David killed the giant and the Little Engine made it up the mountain not because of any special skills, but because they were full of confidence. David killed the giant because he knew he could do it. The Little Engine thought she could make it. She had confidence. Likewise we too can climb mountains and pull heavy loads. We too can strike a giant, serve him on a platter and be confidence breeders. It only requires a firm and bold conviction of 'I think I can"
And when we get to the top or when the head of the giant has been sliced off you will look with satisfaction and say, "I thought I could. I thought I could."

I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who gives me Strength. Phil. 4:13

My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. 2 Cor.12;9

NOW FAITH

2008-02-19T08:02:00.000-08:00

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11: 1

Okay so I am way behind in my blogging. There has been nothing written here in a month. My plan was to write more on the parenting book. I hope to do that but for now my faith is being tested everyday. So I would just like to vent a bit the things stirring within my heart.

The just shall live by faith. We are just in God's eyes because of the price Jesus paid for us in giving His whole life. He gave His body, He gave his soul and He gave His spirit. He gave all He had to give. May this truth never become so stale and common in our lives as children of God. Lord, help me to never take this for granted.

As I was reading more into the eleventh chapter of Hebrews, verses 8 and 9 really stood out to me. It says, "By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to the place which he would receive as an inheritance. And he went out not knowing where he was going. By faith, he dwelt in the land of promise as in a foreign country, dwelling in tents with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise.

Notice that verse eight says Abraham went out not knowing. Not knowing was how he went. He did not know where in the sand hill he was headed. I wonder if he struggled with mind games as he went? Did the enemy come against his mind and attempt to plant doubt, perplexity, and discouragement as Abraham plowed ahead? I have been wondering about that.

However, he made it regardless of the struggle. He knew that we was journeying toward the promise but he did not know where...he just knew there was a promise to head after. How many times do we waver in our minds? We want to have a plan to fall back on in case it does not work. Is this really faith? Is this really wisdom? We say,"Well, we must be balanced and have wisdom. Therefore we should have a plan in place in just in case." I really been questioning this lately.

Oh yes, it is between me and God. However, it is a question we will all be faced with if not already. Faith is looking ahead and going without knowing. What was Abraham's back up plan? There was none. By his faith, he was given the priviledge to dwell in the land of promise.

As I was reading this scripture I noticed some words I had written at the top of the page years ago. These are the words.

FAITH SEES THE INVISIBLE
FAITH HEARS THE INAUDIBLE
FAITH BELIEVES THE INCREDIBLE
FAITH THINKS THE UNTHINKABLE.
FAITH ACCOMPLISHES THE IMPOSSIBLE.
FAITH INHERITS THE INDESTRUCTABLE.

Hebrews 10: 35-38 says Therefore do not cast away your confidence which has great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise. for yet a little while,and He who is coming will come and will not tarry. Now the just shall live by faith; but if anyone draws back, My soul has no pleasure in him.

A Complete Love is Secure Love

2008-01-18T13:13:00.000-08:00

If I were to interview hundreds of parents and ask them, "Do you love your children?", not one would say no. There would be no statistics to compare. The answers would be 100% yes. All parents love their children and most show their children love. However, we must aim to give them a secure and complete love.

Many children grow up insecure because the love they received from their parents was incomplete even though it was genuine. We want to send our children into the world knowing they were truly loved. Also, God has given us the keys to be the ones who transfer this secure love.

Why are so many children growing up into insecure adults? We must take a long look at ourselves and see if we possibly may contribute to this problem. Sometimes our love is incomplete because our children feel they must constantly compete for it. Are we choosing pastimes, careers, or even friends above them? Who or what are we spending most of our time doing?

Several months ago, my husband was transferred to a different area of his work place. Greater demands were put on his time causing him to be away from the family for 70 and sometimes 80 hours a week. Even when he was home, he had to answer calls and was expected to fill out reports on his computer. We value our family time, so after a few months, John went to his supervisor to see if he could work out a different plan. His supervisor ignored him and did nothing to help him. Finally, John went to his boss and told him he could no longer work that many hours because he needed to be home more with his family. He was accused of trying to dictate his work hours and was let go.

Because God values family and the time we invest in our children and spouses, He is providing for our family and we have much more time together now. God will honor your desires to have more time for your family. Sometimes we are forced to make decisions and even face losses for choosing what is right in God's eyes. We must transfer complete love to our children by choosing to let go of certain things.

Secondly, our love is sometimes incomplete because our children are made to feel like they have to earn it. They can discern if they receive our praise and approval if they are performing to make us look good to others or behaving in a way to make our jobs easier as parents. We must aim to show our children acceptance no matter how they choose to behave.

So what does complete love really look like? Dr. Tim Kimmel, author of Grace Based Parenting, defines love as "the commitment of my will to your needs and best interests, regardless of the cost." Doing the loving thing for our children is not always easy and does not necessarily come natural. Love is about making decisions based on the covenants we have with our loved ones. Love also sees our needs as second priority to those we are to love.Our children are our closest neighbors. Loving them in grace and truth is also about knowing what their God given needs are, not selfish ones, and meeting those needs.

Last of all we should remember that secure love is often inconvenient and sometimes painful. Loving our children costs so much. They cost our money,time and sleep. It may cost us our careers, it may cost us mother's our figures. It may cost you Dads a promotion. It may require that we do without.

Just the other day we took the younger children to Toys R Us to pick out a toy to buy with some Christmas money their grandparents had given them. As we were paying for the gifts, the cashier looked at me and said, 'Wow, they each get something. What do you get?" I pointed to the children with a smile and replied, "I get to enjoy them! That is what I get!"

Lighten Up or Tighten Up? A Note on Parenting

2008-01-14T13:37:00.000-08:00

Two days before Christmas I looked out my back window and spotted a neighbor in the woods behind our houses ripping down a fence that seperates the residential lots from the privately owned property behind us. In fact, he was commiting theft because the fence does not belong to him but to the owner of the land. He continued tearing down the fence and the poles that supported it. Piece by piece he carried the parts into his yard and hid them in his garage. A few nights later, my son noticed that he had loaded the parts into his truck and drove off. We were puzzled at why this man would be so desperate that he would steal a chain link fence. Also, it was strange that he removed a segment of the fence from behind his house and from behind our other neighbor's home. However, the section of fencing directly behind our house was untouched. Maybe he knew we were home as I did notice that he kept looking toward our house as he was doing his work.

This event had me contemplating fences and how fences represent boundaries. This young man maybe had no boundaries as he was growing up and was free to roam and do as he pleased. He may not have been taught anything about consideration of other's property. Who knows. I am not here to judge the motiives of why he was stealing the fence. But I have been considering the whole concept of boundaries in parenting our children.

In our society of crumbling morals and decaying values, we as parents need to guard against falling to extremes. One extreme is that we become too relaxed which leads to being passive in our parenting. Just as the fence behind our home was removed and stolen, this same concept can happen easily even with parents of good intentions. Examples of this would be allowing our children to hang out with whomever they would choose or watching any movie that they would like. Also they would be free to act out any frustration with no consequences or look at anything they choose on the internet to read or view. These are extreme examples. However, one can turn on the news or read the newspaper to see that these are often the norm in our society today.

Even though most parents are well meaning, they can cave into this type of parenting to some degree. It is quite easy to become desensitized to this boundary deficient culture. We may do a good job raising our children when things are going well. But it is tempting to just let things slide when we are tired or going through dire circumstances. Many times it is just easier to feel good that to do good. In the book, "Grace Based Parenting", the author says that "raising kids with clear moral boundaries can be an extremely lonely job."

This brings us to the other extreme that can be as equally toxic to children. This type of parenting is based on an over reaction to a culture without boundaries. This refers to bringing in boundaries in far more tightly than they need to be to effectively train their children. These parents restrict and control everything. They tighten the fence regarding every area of their child's life thinking they are making it safer for their children to go through life. They think that this will be the derermining factor of how their children will turn out. There are clear moral boundaries which are set. This is needed. However, they have added an inner fence to make it more difficult for their children to even see beyond the boundaries of grace God has provided.

The key word here is grace. God parents us according to His grace and truth. We must periodically take inventory of the boundaries we have set for our children. Are they based on grace? Or have we constructed inner fences that are too tight and unnecessary? Maybe we have let our guard down and we have loose or no boundaries because we have been bogged down by trying circumstances and fatigue.

God's way of parenting us is by His gift of grace. We too must examine His model of parenting and apply this to our own parenting. God looks deep into our hearts and sees our need. He sees our needs because He knows our needs. In order to know the needs of our children we must understand what those are. This is what the next blog will be on. Knowing and recognizing the needs of our children and how grace is the key to effective parenting.

(Note:Some of my thoughts were based on the book, GRACE BASED PARENTING, by Dr. Tim Kimmel). This is one of the most scriptually inspired parenting books I personally have ever read. I would encourage you to get the book)

Bless the Broken Road

2008-01-11T07:13:00.000-08:00

This song had been in my head all week. I knew the Lord must be reminding me of it for a reason especially when I heard it on the radio several times. In addition, I came across a CD I have had for months by SELAH that I did not open until this morning. I remembered that I had it, but I did not realize this song, "Bless the Broken Road" was on this CD.

The woman who wrote this song shares the testimony that she did not marry the man who was to be her husband until she was 34. She shares about her frustration of waiting for a husband and that she continually had to give God the reigns in this area. Along the broken road she knew that God was in control.

Everytime I hear this song, it reminds me of how I found God along so many bumps and cracks in the road. Those flaws in the highway even knocked me off the prefererd path God had for me. But He was always there waiting for me to turn to Him in my desperate moments of anguish and heartache. He rescued me and set me back on the road. I love the words to this song.

" EVERY LONG LOST DREAM LED ME TO WHERE YOU ARE
OTHERS WHO BROKE MY HEART
THEY WERE JUST NORTHERN STARS
POINTING ME ON MY WAY
INTO YOUR LOVING ARMS
THIS MUCH I KNOW IS TRUE
GOD BLESS THE BROKEN ROAD
THAT LED ME STRAIGHT TO YOU."

This is just one verse in the song. But if you listen to the words it really describes how God pursues us to save us. His passion for us is more than I can bear at times. He romances us all through our lives. And the road is truly blessed, no matter how broken, that leads us into deeper places with Him. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

ISAIAH 40:4

Every valley shall be exalted, And every mountain and hill brough low, the CROOKED places shall be made straight, And the rough places smooth.

I also want to dedicate this blog to Sara, my daughter who is eleven years old today. You are a treasure to my heart, a priceless gift from God. Happy Birthday. I love you.

Click on the you tube at the top of this page to listen to the song, BLESS THE BROKEN ROAD. Make sure you click on the first box to see the words as the song plays.

The Idea Verses the Reality

2008-01-08T11:07:00.000-08:00

Everything and anything that relates to having a relationship with God is enough to set me off. I am not talking about anger, but excitement and pursuit. Yes, I am a Jesus freak. Some may say, "You are too heavenly minded to be any earthly good." Oh well. That is just an opinion.

You know, there are some people who want to get married because they are in love with the idea and the concept of being in a relationship and getting married. The idea of it is attractive. Then there are those who desire to marry because they really want the relationship and they will go to any ends to pursue the presence of the one they love so deeply.

There are many people who say they know and believe in God because the idea is interesting and attractive to them. However, we must not confuse the idea of loving God to the reality of loving God. We must be careful not to seek His presence for the wrong reasons. We must guard our motives for He is a holy God as His intentions toward us are pure....pure love and devotion.

There were times in my life when I read my bible and studied its contents not because I wanted to find out about His heart and to pursue His presence, but I just wanted to add to my knowledge and have things to say to others that sounded good and spiritual. I thought that if I did not have something to say to add to a discussion or conversation, then I was not being spiritual. Also, I loved the idea of being in love with God because I was thinking of all that relationship would do for me. Anytime you enter into any relationship with the idea of what it can do for you, you are setting yourself up for voids that will never be filled. For me, this was a religious spirit that I know was not pleasing to God. However, we serve a God who does not waste. May I say He is thrifty?

I believe all the times I thought I was being spiritual by getting into the word just to gain knowledge, the Lord knew where I would be. And the greatest thing was that He still delighted in me. The words that went in did not go to waste because I thought I was doing the right thing. In my mind , I was doing the spiritual things. Even though my motive was tainted, He in His mercy took
what I had to give and enriched the soil of my heart for later planting and revelation of His love and grace.

The reason I am sharing all of this is because as a mother I want my children as well as others who are in my life to be ready for this season that God wants to come and reveal more of Himself to us. He is a holy God. This means He is perfect, pure and unlike anyone. He is set apart from all others.

However, He is so good and full of grace that He wants to rip open the heavens within you and show you more of Himself. He wants to give more revelation. However it is not about revelation , it is about relationship. Yes we have heard this over and over. But we must ask ourselves, "Is my relationship with God a reality or an idea?

The reality is that God is coming in greater ways this year. He is inviting all to be recipients of the greater measure He wants to bring to us. Maybe you are in the place of "the idea". You are drawn to the concept of having the reality of a closer relationship with God, but you know you do not genuinely live in it. You are not experiencing it and you really do not have a true desire. There is no condemnation for you are in Christ and He is in you. All you need to do is stand before Him and simply ask, "Lord, I love the idea of being passionate for you and I want to have the desire, but it is not there. Will you Lord, give me the desire to pursue Your presence? Dear ones, this is worship. Bless the Lord Oh my soul and all that is within me (Psalm 103:1). If all you have is the idea of being intimate with the Lord, give it to Him. He is pleased with your offering of honesty. Be encouraged and be expectant because you are entering a quest for a real, yes I MEAN REAL, encounter with God. Is this mystical? Yes. Is mystical real? Yes. Is a mystical God practical? Yes. He is a real and mystical God who is getting ready to show up. You only have to ask. Get ready to receive!

Thrones or Thorns?

2007-12-23T03:53:00.000-08:00

The other day I was reading a devotion which stated, "The ministry of THORNS has often been a greater ministry to humankind that the ministry of THRONES. For some reason these two words have continued to stick within my heart and mind. What would I choose? Would I choose to sit on a throne of ease and comfort in this life and never feel or experience any pain or disappointment? Or would I rather have a position to touch another life and to feel one's pain because I have thorns myself?

How can I truly encourage others and be a vessel of hope in this world if I never had a thorn? Satan wants to crown us with many thorns just as Jesus was crowned with the same. The enemy has set about to pierce our minds with daggers of lies that God is not for us. Our adversary also wants to discredit us so that we will be of no influence.

However, we are more than conquers through Christ Jesus. Everything that the enemy uses to flatten us and to damage us is merely pavement for the road God is constructing in our lives to lead us to victory. In the storms of this life, we can use the winds to our advantage. An eagle does this very thing. He sits upon the ledge of a mountain and waits. When the storm approaches, he soars and uses the stongest wind currents to help lift him to a higher place. We too have the opportunity to be like the eagle. As we wait upon the Lord in the midst of the storm, He will enable us to use the winds to lift us above the storm that we may fly above the clouds.

What are some thorns you are suffering today? Maybe you are struggling in a relationship or have financial struggles. You may be facing an illness or have lost a loved one recently. It could be a weakness in your soul such as rejection, depression or loneliness. Jesus wore a crown of thorns for a greater reason than the obvious mocking and humilition He received. Paul had a thorn in the flesh for a greater purpose than just a physical weakness. These lives demonstrated that God will bring us to a place of victory if we choose not to lose. He said we are more than conquerers through Him who loves us. (Romans 8:37)

When we claim victory in ourselves we set ourselves up for thrones of pride and self sufficiency. These thorns are damamging to us as well as to others. However, when we claim victory through Christ, calling to Him constantly and leaning upon Him moment by moment, our thorns then become a throne that is everlasting. I like to think of it as a THRONE OF THORNS. May our thorns be turned into thrones of hope for others. May the briers of our lives pierce our hearts to release a gush of love that others so need in their distress and plight. As painful as it is at times, I choose thorns. Jesus' crown of thorns was transformed to crowns of glory...the Glory of the Father. May we all choose to allow our thorns to be a ministry unto our Lord and to others. So what will it be? Thrones or Thorns?

CROWN HIM THE VIRGIN'S SON
THE GOD INCARNATE BORN,
WHOSE ARM THOSE CRIMSON TROPHIES WON
WHICH NOW HIS BROW ADORN;
FRUIT OF THE MYSTIC ROSE,
AS OF THAT ROSE THE STEM;
THE ROOT WHENCE MERCY EVERY FLOWS,
THE BABE OF BETHLEHEM.

(From the hymn, Crown Him with Many Crowns)

OH SO LOVELY

2007-12-17T17:20:00.000-08:00

Thirty nine excited children came through the doors of City Life Church with bright smiles and expectant hearts. These were some of the most loving and happy children I have ever met. They were all special and beautiful. Each one glowed with the glory of God even though they had no realization of it. Also, each child knew they would be receiving something new that day...a shiny new bicycle.

There was a beauty present in a way that I have never experienced. This was something lovely that started weeks ago. Even though the children were such a blessing and were so precious, I cannot stop thinking about the beauty of a group of people who joined together as one to make this Outreach happen. Many people gave in so many ways. Many members of the City Life Church family gave donations. The total amount given was around 1400 dollars. This family not only gave of their resources, but gave of their time to help prepare for the event and to also serve the children and the single mothers that attended. We served together as one body which included children and teenagers. Everyone had a part to play.

We also had support from two different "Curves" facilities in Woodstock and Marietta. The members donated 14 bike helmets along with stocking stuffers and over 700 dollars in Walmart gift cards. I would like to thank every individual and business who contributed to the lives of these children. Their Christmas will be brighter because of you. Your generosity, thoughtfulness and especially your love has touched these children in a way that they will never forget. You have left fingerprints of hope in their hearts. You have sent a message to them from God that says, "I have not forgotten you dear little one. Your heavenly Father knows you and delights in you."

Most of these children have no father present in their lives. Some of them live in shelters because their parents cannot provide for them due to negative life patterns which include abuse, drugs, and neglect. Thirty nine children is a small number compared to the number of people in Atlanta who cry a silent cry every night because they have lost hope and believe they have been forgotten. People are starving for love and we are the answer because the Answer resides within us.

It was a gift to be able to spend the short afternoon with these important people. The children and the mothers who came are beautiful to God and are lives cherished by Him. What a privilege it was to touch their lives and to have them touch mine.

I pray that the Lord will give us more opportunities to touch others in this way. His beautiful face was seen in many. His countenance was in the children. His arms were the ones who reached out and served and gave. His beauty was there. This is what I long for. Oh so lovely is the Savior we serve!

A Gold Miner's Daughter

2007-11-28T15:05:00.000-08:00

It was another one of my puzzling dreams. I was standing in front of a group of people singing this seemingly silly song. "I'm a gold miner's daughter. I'm a gold miner's daughter." Spectators were chuckling as I sang these words with conviction to the tune of the old hymn, "I've Got Peace Like a River". This is strange I know, but oh how true. I am a gold miner's daughter.

Needless to say, God has spoken nuggets of gold truths from this dream and I would like to share them. First of all, I am not who I thought I was. I am not the same today as I was yesterday. I am becoming all that God wants me to be through the testing and trying of my faith. This revelation is knowledge that I had in my head, but is now becoming through the passage if time real within the fibers of my very being. Not only is my heavenly Father constantly panning for gold in me, but He is making me into a desperate gold digger.

Just a few weeks ago I found out that I was expecting a baby. We have nine precious gifts from God's heart. Now, we have two angels in the realms of glory living in prosperity and eternal security. I had the first miscarriage back in late June and the second one less than a week ago. These loses have been extremely painful for me. I agree with Mother Teresa's statement that one who says there are too many children is like saying there are too many flowers.

It is interesting that I had actually been praying and asking the Lord to bless us again with another baby. Many say to themselves," What in the world would compel someone in their right mind to ask for more and more children?" My answer is, this desire is not of this world and it is something I cannot really explain.

On the other hand, I have also been praying fervently for God to show me more of His heart and to reveal Himself to me. Just like Moses, I was asking God, "Show me Your glory." Oh what a dangerous prayer to pray. However, the King of Glory is waiting for those who would boldly ask with sincerity of heart.
Also recently I have been hearing of testimonies all over of signs and wonders in the land.
There have been accounts of feathers, gold and sapphire dust falling from the heavens onto people's skin. There have been events of oil scented with myrrh coming from the palms of people's hands and from the soles of their feet. I have even found myself looking around from time to time for a diamond from the throne of God laying at my feet. It is a glorious endeavor to desire these signs and wonders. However,my heart springs with delight whenever I recall a pastor who said, "It is not so much in how He chooses to come and reveal Himself, but what matters is that He come. Just come Lord Jesus and show us your glory."

When we consistently ask of the Lord for more of Him, we become diggers of gold. We are mining for the treasures of God's heart that we may get next to Him and know Him in a deeper way. However, God is the Father Miner who is digging and sifting for gold within us.

Because gold is a weighty substance it always stays at the bottom when being panned for. Especially in the past, gold miners would use a pan to sort the gold from small rocks and gravel. They would mine in small streams by scooping up soil along with water. The lighter debris would float to the top while the gold would stay at the bottom. This would happen through the process of sifting and shaking by the one searching for the gold.

Likewise, as God mines for gold within us, He causes shaking and sifting in various ways in order for the unwanted and undesirable things of our flesh to come to the surface. The items that are gold and incorruptible stay in the deep places of our hearts. This deep place is God's treasure chest which is stored deep within.

God does not always reveal Himself to us in seemingly blissful ways. The word says that He is an all consuming fire (Hebrews 12:29). When we ask for His heart of gold, His fire always comes first. He will test us through trials by His purifying fire that we may be perfected and become a trusted vessel to carry His presence to others.

Job 23:10 says, "When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold." He is after a faith that is genuine and transparent, just as pure gold is transparent. 1 Peter 1:7 says," That the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ."

When we seek the Lord for more of Him, we must accept the way in which He sees fit to come. Many times it is by His fire and it is through His shaking. This is the way God has chosen to visit our family lately. It would be so much easier to have gold dust in my lap and and oil from my hands. However, here are some ways God works through the fire and sifting of His presence. He is asking, "Will you embrace the way in which I choose to come to you?" When we say yes in the midst of the pain of His scorching yet loving flame, His heart floods with pleasure and delight for He knows we have chosen Him above all else.

1. God's fire proves your faith. He will test you in the very areas that are dearest to your heart. This may include desires that are godly and pure. He is asking, "Will you still love me even if I choose to never answer any more of your prayers?" He is looking for a bride who will love Him for Him only. We are just like this too. We want others to love and care for us because they value who were are, not just the things we can do for them and give them.

2. God's fire cultivates brokenness. Brokenness yields humility. A child of God who walks in victory but does not have brokenness becomes triumphant in way others cannot relate. This repels others who are going through hardship because they cannot relate to that person. Pride parades and drives needy people away. Humility brought forth through brokenness creates a fragrance which draws others to Christ.

3. God's fire also heals and gives you a message. Just as fire is used to weld metals together. He will work His fire within you to mend your broken heart. Your faith will be pure and sure. Also, you will have proof through your life to show to your children the goodness and faithfulness of God.

4. God's fire spreads and ignites those coming behind us. The next generation does not want to just hear about the works and faithfulness of God. They want to see it in live action. We are the screen they are watching to see if God will come through. They see the realty of who He is in the way we allow Him to bring change in us. His glory is not so much in the manifest signs and wonders of diamonds, oil and gold. His splendor is in the gold He is bringing forth in our personal lives. This is what will stay with our children. This is what will remain.

My heart is comforted in knowing that the hardships we face are not just about us. They are about our children, and their children. I want God's gold to come forth in me and for my faith to be proven for their sakes. My desire is that my life would count for something much deeper than just my short time here even if it means all of the desires of my heart do not come to pass on this side of heaven. I can rest and be at peace knowing that the Master Gold Digger is digging in my heart and bringing forth gold that will be passed as an indestructible inheritance to my children who are following and watching me. Remember also that your testimony is not so much in the outcome of your circumstances, it remains and gleams in and through the change that the test has worked in you.

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testingof your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. James 1:2-4

He Holds You

2007-10-21T11:38:00.001-07:00

Do you see this beautiful picture? Really focus and take it in. This is you right now. No matter what you are going through, soak in the reality that your Father holds you. You think, "Jesus is holding a child in this picture." Yes, that child is you. When I saw this photo, I felt it was a message for those who are grieving. It is when we grieve, we lose all of our composure. The veil is removed and we are vulnerable. One embrace from our heavenly Father and we melt. We are safe to be. We are free to weep. This is for those who are grieving.

Grief is like being on the ocean when the waves are really rough. Or it can be described as a tidal wave which hits unexpectedly. Everything in you and in your life is suddenly changed. The loss of a loved one is as a violent storm.

Even if your loved one passed away a year ago or more. There will still be swells in the sea of your heart. There are triggers that cause the swell such as holidays, the anniversary date of the death, or even just seeing something in the store can trigger a swollen wave of grief. Do not be discouraged and feel as though you are not healing. We must learn to ride the wave when it comes. It is a healthy part of your healing.

Also when you are in the midst of cresting waves, guard your heart against condemnation. Other voices will come and whisper that you are not thankful for what you have. Grieving and experiencing sorrow does not mean you are not thankful. Sorrow means you are courageous enough to love. Sorrow means your heart is soft enough to hurt. Your Saviour catches you in the turbulence, holds you until you are still, and never releases His grip upon you.

Sorrows as a tidal wave crash upon
heart and chest as weights of unflinching steel
Pressing upon me as though I could
Never breathe again.

I cry, "Saviour, I cannot inhale.
I am fading, please save me.
This surge is cresting,
Do not let it over take me.
Are you here?

The inflaming monster approaches,
There is no relief in sight
Suddenly, I am caught
Beneath its unending vigor.

Black. All is black.
Will my heart beat again?
Yet I am alive.
Stillness. Illumination.

The crest has broken
Its violent intention
Push me upon the shore
Upon the bosom of the One
Who retrieves me
And breathes hope and life
Back into me

The next wave is bulging
I know of its plot
but I know His loving stance
To catch me after each shattering crest
And to replace my breath with His
Upon His eternal shore
Within His unending hold
I will make it through each wave
Until the sea is glass.

Life's Bare Necessity-Intimacy with God

2007-10-05T14:44:00.001-07:00

As a little girl, I would flip through the same story book until the pages were worn. It was bound with Disney Classics of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, and all of the well known fairy tales. Also, my grandmother had a box in her closet filled with fluffy dresses and high heeled shoes. She also would give me old tubes of lipstick that I would put on when playing "dress up" After donning myself with such "grand" apparel, I would proceed to the huge living room where my grandparents had numerous record albums of what we then called "elevator music". I did not care for the sort, but it had to do. I would spend countless hours making up dances and creating make believe balls where I was the princess.

In Staci Eldredge's book, Your Captivating Heart, she shares the same examples illustrating how God created our hearts as women to long to be the beauty, the princess, and to be pursued by the One who cherishes us the most. There are traces of evidence even from the womb, that God created us with those longings. He created us for intimacy.

Where there is intimacy there is fulfillment, joy and fruitfulness in our lives. May the concept of intimacy be redeemed in this fallen world we live in. The enemy of your soul does not want you to know the full definition of the word, intimacy, and how to thrive in your relationship with God.

In the Wikepedia, intimacy is described well. Here are some statements shared.

"Intimacy is linked with feelings of closeness, safety, trust, and transparency among partners in a collaborate relationship."

"For intimacy to be sustainable and nourishing, it also requires trust, transparency, and rituals of connection."

"Intimacy requires empathy-the ability to stand in the other's shoes."

"Intimacy requires identity development. You have to know yourself(know who you are in Christ (my addition) in order to share yourself with others.

Even though these statements came from an encyclopedia, they perfectly describe God's heart for you. He desires to be intimate with you and He longs for you to return that affection to Him. The voice of our Savior's heart cries out, "I want to be close to you so that I may show that you can trust me. You must trust me. I am asking you to come closer to Me so I may show you all that is in my heart for you. I know who I am, the Alpha and Omega, your All in All. However, you will not know really who you are until you come close and learn who I am. For you to know yourself, you must know Me. Yes, you may know of Me, but you must grow to know me. As you long to be known and understood, I too desire to be known and to share my heart with those I can trust. I stood in your shoes by dying for you. As my child you now are in right standing with Me and I wait for you to come closer. In return, I will draw nearer to you."

Psalm 139:13 says "You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb."
This verse clearly expresses God's intimacy with us before we were even aware of what affection was. Verse 15 shows us that our frame was not hidden from Him and He was weaving us together in secret. This was an intimate time; just you and the Maker. As He was forming your inward parts, He was constructing much more that your organs, muscles, and blood. The Creator of all the Universe was forming a living sanctuary within you where He deeply desires to dwell.

Within you is a castle where riches long to be buried. Within you is a Prince who fights for your soul and rides to the high hills to recapture your heart when it starts to stray into dangerous terrain. This King of Glory whose name is Faithful, paid a very elaborate price to be intimate with you. He is captivated by one glance from you. Stir the known and unknown longings within your heart and call to Him. He awaits your invitation!

(This was inspired after reading, Your Captivating Heart, by Staci Eldridge)

Passion and Purpose- A Great Couple

2007-10-04T13:49:00.000-07:00

"I DARE YOU"!!!!Let's play truth or dare! No! How about we live the truth and plunge into the dare! I just dare you to fan the flames in your heart and jump on the hot road of God's purpose for you in this earth! I dare you!

I have been reading Joyce Meyer's newest book, "I Dare You". It is a powerful and encouraging writing that will confirm, reaffirm and stoke the coals of passion and purpose in your heart. This writing is also packed with practical wisdom in maintaining your vision with courage, discipline and consistency.
God has given you dreams and they are not something you just thought of. Once you were passionate about the dream and you dared to believe those dreams would become a reality. However the bad guy has lied to you and has robbed you of your heart's desires. What did you used to dream about? You need to go back and recapture those divine longings. Go into the enemy's camp and take back what he has stolen from you. You have believed a lie and it is time to take back what is rightfully yours as a child of the King.

I would encourage you to read this book. Joyce talks about passion and purpose. If you look at the photos above, you will see the illustration of the balance between passion and purpose. Many people have passion in their hearts for many things. However, passion without purpose can get out of control. Think of an actual fire. If a fire is not controlled by water, it will spread and do a lot of damage. However, a fire that is controlled can fulfill it's purpose. Having flames of the heart are powerful when they are combined with the water of the Holy Spirit.

The water of God's Spirit, keep the passion in line and on the road to purpose. On the other hand, if I have a great purpose with no passion, then there is no flame to spread that purpose. It is not catching and will die out eventually.

We also must make it a practice to stay poised before the Lord. (read more about this on the website :leapinghearts.com under Heart Threads). Remaining fixed and consistently hovering over the promises from God's heart, in addition to thriving in our relationship with Him, are the keys to being victorious in being who God has called us to be. It is also vital for the dreams He has placed within you to come to pass. You have a responsibility. God will not drop your dream into your lap You have to fight for it.

Sometimes you will feel alone in your passion and purpose. This is not the time to give up. When you are alone, the enemy will take advantage of the moment and try to impregnate you with his lies, abort your dream and destroy your fire. In the seasons when you feel alone in your dream, you need to make it your passion and your venture to make this the most intimate time with your Lord. This is the practical way to overcome the adversary of your heart and dreams.

I encourage you to read this book. It is packed with practical wisdom for your future. Furthermore it will fan your flame of destiny. Keep pressing on and be courageous!! I DARE YOU!

Who is God Speaking Through?

2007-10-02T09:36:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago,my oldest son told me that I have a bad habit of interrupting people when they are talking. I was shocked and surprised he corrected me. However, it was done in a very respectful and loving way. I never realized I had this habit. However it took my own child to point it out.

The choice was before me to receive correction from my own son with humility or to pridefully reject what he shared with a pure heart. Over the last couple of weeks I caught myself doing just that. Someone was sharing something with me and I interrupted with something I wanted to say. Once, I even found myself finishing some one's sentence for them. It made me realize how rude I must sound to others at times.

I believe the Lord wants to break me of this habit and I am thankful He brought it up through my son. As parents or even leaders, I think we can become prideful in who we receive truth or correction from. We tend to choose those that we will allow to speak into our lives at times with a haughtiness that someone "less mature" than us cannot actually reveal something undesirable in our lives. This is a true test of humility. Here are some questions to ask ourselves.

As a parent, do I feel resistance rising up when my child says something about a weakness I have? As a leader, do I have attitudes toward others that they are not as "far along as me" spiritually, therefore I do not need to receive from them? We must always keep our hearts open to every avenue God wants to speak.

As for me, personally, I want to be a better listener. That means speaking much less that I listen. My heart is to help others work through their problems by pointing them to Jesus. Allowing others to finish what they are saying, and just being quiet is such a vital key in doing this very thing. The Lord listens much more than He speaks. How I want to be like Him.

Lord, Thank you for your grace and the loving way you correct us. You desire for us to be transformed into your likeness even in the way we listen and the way we relate to others in conversation. Help me to be more courteous like You Lord. Amen.

Industrialization 101

2007-09-29T12:23:00.000-07:00

I just had to share this unplanned self learning and creative time the kids had yesterday in the backyard. I love the flexibility of homeschooling. I had gone outside to call the kids in to finish up their "book work" and they were all working together on these pine straw huts.It was so fun to see them collecting large limbs from the woods and I admire their creativeness in building something so unique. There is such a message of unity in this activity. Together we can work and make something great!!! I am amazed at how God reminds us and teaches us some of the most wonderful truths through the creative and simple acts of our children. May we all follow their example. The little hole in the pine straw where you see the kid's faces are little windows they made in the hut.

DR. MAC (Memories of True Hospitality)

2007-09-26T06:53:00.000-07:00

Dr Mac was truly a man who exemplified what true hospitality is all about. In our culture of material gain and outward appearances, I feel we are losing this simple art of the heart.Dr. Mac was "Granddaddy" to me and he was a medical doctor back in the day when doctors made house calls and delivered women's babies in their homes.

For Granddaddy, it was his heart and his joy to help others. He was a simple man who was filled with a kindness that is rare today. I remember going to my grandparent's home to visit for a weekend. If Dr. Mac was on call, he would get up in the middle of the night to meet patients at his clinic. If the patient was very ill, he would go to their home. If they were poor, he would give them medicine. In addition,I also remember numerous times when sick people would come to his house needing help. I do not remember him ever turning anyone away.he even took a step further and made time to call his patients the next day to see how they were doing.

This compassion impacted my life as a little girl. As I watched him, there was a work being done in my young heart that I did not realize. This was a simple man, who simply loved people, and he was known and respected not for all he did, but for who he was.

Dr. McLane,(Dr Mac) was a true vessel of hospitality. It is grievous to see how our world has twisted the true meaning of hospitality. It is not about having a perfectly decorated house, and preparing the fanciest meals. It is not about trying to advance appearances. Hospitality is an art of the heart. It is kindness shown toward guests or strangers. It is a resting place within that says "welcome" to those we meet. In fact the word hospitality is formed from the root word, "hospital".

Our homes should be a place of rest where our family members feel welcomed and accepted. Our churches should be a place of comfort and encouragement where others feel valued. We should see every individual as Christ sees them and esteem others as more important as ourselves.

When someone is before us, we need to welcome them with a smile that is genuine. Instead of frowning or turning our heads when someone walks by, we should say, "WELCOME" with our countenance and smile.

I am sure our Saviour smiles much more than HE frowns. He delights in His children.
Let us make an effort to reflect His genuine smile,make house calls,and go to the places where others are hurting. Then follow up with a phone call. Thank you Dr. Mac, Granddaddy, for showing so many the true meaning of hospitality. May your legacy live on!

Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Living Sacrifices

2007-09-19T12:30:00.000-07:00

The other day I met an extraordinary young woman named Alicia. She is also the mother of five young children.
As we were having a great conversation about family and mothering, she shared more and more of her life and story with me. WOW, I was amazed by the things I heard. She and her husband are ministers here in Atlanta where they serve in an inner city organization in which they go out and meet the needs of hurting people. In this ministry there are many other churches and local ministries who gather together and go to the people. On Saturdays,these groups of people knock on doors and ask the people how they can serve them. They cut grass, clean, and help people with basic things such as getting their driver's license renewed. These are just a few of the services they provide. She said you would be so surprised at some of the basic life skills people do not know how to do right here in Atlanta. This gives them so many opportunities to pray and to share Christ with the poor and hurting.

She shared with me about a particular group that went to a home downtown and knocked on the door. There was a woman inside crying, "I need Jesus! I need Jesus!" A man came to the door and led them in to the woman who was strung out on drugs. One person said, "How can we help you?" The desperate woman continued to cry, "I just need Jesus!" So the group of people from this ministry prayed with this woman to receive Jesus as her Savior. Hallelujah!

This young woman also shared with me about her sister who lives in Metro Atlanta. She has five of her own children and has taken in five other children who were neglected and abused. She does not even receive pay as a foster parent, but just trusts the Lord to provide. One child's mother is a drug addict with several other children of different men. She was leaving the children alone all day at home to run the streets. My heart was stirred not only to hear the stories about the hurting, but was tremendously touched by these motherly ministers and others who have laid down their lives to reach the suffering. They truly are living sacrifices going out beyond the comforts of their own homes and families and making a difference in the live of others.

Alicia shared testimony after testimony of God's provision for their family as they have stepped out time and again to touch others lives. I was touched by her passion for the lost and her excitement for family and how her children serve along beside her and her husband.

I have contemplated much of this the past couple of days as I have been reading Philip Yancy's book, "Where is God When it Hurts?" I have had the book for two years but have not read it until now. I believe it is God's timing as my heart has been stirred in a different direction over the past several months. This is what Yancy said about Jesus.

"Clear your mind and reflect a moment on Jesus' life. He was the only person in history able to plan His own birth. Yet He humbled himself, trading in a perfect heavenly body for a frail body of blood and sinew and cartilage and nerve cells. The Bible says there is no temptation known to man that Jesus did not experience. He was lonely, tired, hungry, personally assaulted by Satan, besieged by leeching admirers, persecuted by powerful enemies.

"He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to Him, nothing in His appearance that we should desire Him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, ad familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces..." (Isaiah 53: 2-3)

When Jesus first began His ministry, the people hooted, "Can anything good come from Nazareth?" An ancient ethnic joke: Jesus the hick, the country bumpkin from Nazareth. In keeping with that reputation, he seemed to gravitate toward other rejects; those quarantined with leprosy, prostitutes,tax collectors, paralytics, notorious sinners."

Jesus was THE MAN familiar with every pain imaginable. So many times I have prayed and asked the Lord to share His heart with me. Sometimes we pray things and do not really know what we are asking. Are we really willing to share in His sufferings? He says if we want to know His heart then we must be willing to hurt in this life. How can we truly hurt for others if we never have to experience pain ourselves. I believe Jesus was drawn to the hurting and the diseased because He identified with their pains.

I want to find the rejects, for I was one. I want to find the hurting, for I have hurt many times. I want to find those who grieve, for I have been grieved by death and disappointment. I want to find the lost, for I was once lost on death's path.
Take me to them Jesus. Show me the way. may I be a living sacrifice today and everyday.

Testimony-The Gift of Pain

2007-09-10T14:54:00.000-07:00

I have been like a running faucet the past couple of Sundays at church. We have nursery duty this Sunday so I will get a break. I am so sensitive to things and I am just learning to embrace that as a gift and to listen to the flow of my tears.
It just goes to show that God's anointing and holy presence is with us in our services. There have been some Sundays when I just have not wanted to go to church. Every time I have felt that way and went anyway, the Lord has given to me in such profound ways. However, I have expressed to the Lord that I am going to church for Him only. I am going Lord to love on You and to worship You. Every time I have prayed that prayer and have truly had that motive, He in turn has met me and has given to me in a way that I cannot measure in the natural or appropriately express in my limited vocabulary.

This past Sunday, Pastor Sterling spoke on the Bourne Identity which relates to wounds. The Bourne Identity is an action type of movie. He shared such great insight about how we are naturally born with wounds because we are born into a fallen world. The entire message I felt the Lord was touching something so deep in me. I really could not put my finger on it. EMANUEL WAS THERE!!!

As the message came to a close, Pastor Sterling had a ministry time in which he invited any who needed prayer for wounds in their hearts which needed to be healed to come forward. I knew I was hurting, but was not sure why. Wow! The gift of pain is precious. I cannot believe I am saying that. However it is the truth.

As the invitation was given, I waited a few moments and looked around to see if anyone else was going forward. No one was moving. However, I could not restrain myself. I got up and went forward. I do not even remember the steps I took to reach the front,but as I arrived to the couple who was up front to minister , the tears began to flow as if they would not ever stop.

It would take so much writing to explain all that God was touching in me. However, today I thought of the Title of the movie, "BOURNE IDENTTY" The very thing I was feeling pain and wounded in was the very core of who God has made me to be. Yes, I am first a child of God, but I am secondly a wife and mother. God revealed to me that I have been under a false guilt for the desires that I carry in my heart to carry children, to birth, to nurture and to mother. He gave me a new and complete freedom to grieve a miscarriage that happened about 2 months ago. He gave me freedom to grieve the loss of a much wanted baby even though I have 9 other children. God gave me liberty to embrace the core desires of my heart and the revelation that HE placed that there. The very things I had been fighting were the very things that God has anointed me by HIS grace to be and to do. IT is not just a season. I will always birth whether in the natural, or in the spirit. It is my calling as a woman and it is GOOD!

I so appreciate Susan and Jeff Hutchins who are elders at City Life. They were the ones who took me and prayed with me and cried with me. There is something profound when you see someone sincerely sharing your pain and truly grieving with you. There is such healing in that. I felt the love of the Father and the "motherly" love of God through them as they shared such a depth of compassion that I so needed.
How the Body of Christ needs each other.

If you ever feel like you do not want to go to be with your church family, that is a strong signal that you need to go. God is waiting for you there. The enemy wants to keep you away in order that you will miss God's hugs, His pleasure and joy for you as You go to give unto Him, even if it is your pain.

IF NOT FOR PAIN,
WE WOULD NEVER KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
SORROW AND JOY
WE WOULD NEVER KNOW HOW TO COMFORT
IN TIMES OF GRIEF
WE WOULD NEVER KNOW
AND WE WOULD NEVER RECOGNIZE THE NEED
WE HAVE FOR A LOVING GOD
WHO IS ATTENTIVE TO US
IN EVERY DETAIL
IN EVERY STRUGGLE
IN EVERY HAPPY MOMENT
PAIN IS A GIFT
IT GIVES US A PLACE OF KNOWING
A PLACE TO REACH OUT
AND BE THE DIFFERENCE
FOR OTHERS WHO ARE SUFFERING!

THE JOY OF THE LORD IS OUR STRENGTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you are a mother,whether in the natural or in the spirit, you are anointed to mother. His approval and strength is available to you. I received a stack of magazines today called "Above Rubies" The publisher wrote a personal note to me. It said , DEAR ANGE, (ANOINTED TO MOTHER),
MAY LOVE, JOY, AND PEACE BE MULTIPLIED TO YOU. MAY YOUR HOME OVERFLOW WITH THE PRAISES OF THE LORD. MAY YOUR WALLS REBOUND WITH LAUGHTER. MAY LOVE SPILL OVER FROM ONE TO THE OTHER. ABOVE ALL, MAY THE ANOINTING OF GOD'S PRESENCE FILL EVERY ROOM.

This is my prayer for every mother who reads this. I also have some copies of this encouraging magazine to give away. If you would like one, email me and I will reserve one for you and bring it to church on Sunday. I will be in the nursery. I have 9 copies so let me know. My love goes to you mothers!!!!!!!!!!

Ange

THE CALL TO TRUST IN PARENTING

2007-08-31T13:35:00.000-07:00

HE WHO DWELLS IN THE SECRET PLACE OF THE MOST HIGH SHALL ABIDE IN THE SHADOW OF THE ALMIGHTY. I WILL SAY OF THE LORD, "HE IS MY REFUGE AND MY FORTRESS; MY GOD, IN HIM I WILL TRUST."

From the first moment a newborn baby is placed within the warm embrace of his mother's arms, he begins to learn about trust. Until we are held within a genuine, heart felt embrace, we know nothing of the matter of abiding and hiding within safety. A baby learns from the embrace and care of his parents who the people are that provide and care for him. He learns who he is through the ones he learns to trust.

It is a known fact that if you hold a newborn baby about 12 inches from your face, he can see you clearly. As time passes, he begins to recognize your features each time you pick him up to cradle him. When we purposefully hug and hold our children as a way to express our unconditional love for them, they learn that we are the givers and that they are the receivers of all we have to offer them. When it comes to the neediness of a newborn, we are humbled by the complete dependence this tiny life has upon us. Subsequently as they absorb the recognizable attributes of who we are, they learn and know who they are. As a result, they are secure knowing they are safe within our care.

This is the exact model for how we as God's children should trust Him in all areas of our lives. Psalm 91 is so applicable in parenting in that if we are trusting in our heavenly Father, we can have confidence and have assurance that HE will guide us in our journey of parenting. Below are five points or keys to trust God in our parenting.

-KNOWING-who I am as a child of God
-SEEING-our children as younger brothers ans sisters in the
Lord.
-GIVING-our children a Kingdom View
-MODELING-a heart felt faith by keeping constant company with
the Lord.
-LIVING-a heart felt faith by keeping constant company with the
Lord.

The first and most important key to trust is in knowing who I am as a child of God.
It is by getting to know Christ that imparts to us who we are in Him. As we become increasingly secure and confident while learning to consistently abide in God, we will outwardly manifest attributes which will in turn cultivate our children's security in their relationship with us.

We want our children to be secure individuals so that they will be well equipped for the influences of the world. We do not want them to follow it, but to stand tall in it. For example, if I am a fearful individual, I cannot expect my children to not have the same fears. As a child, I used to pray the same prayer before I went to bed. I would fearfully plea for God to protect me from tornadoes, house fires, earthquakes, and burglars. Because I was a fearful child, I grew to be a fearful adult. If I had not allowed the Lord to help me in this area of fear and to deliver me from it, then more than likely my children would be victims of the same fears. As we desire the best for our children, let us desire God's best for us. Trusting in God is the best He has for us. He demonstrated that when He went to the cross and fulfilled His promise to rise from the dead. Why would we trust anything else. Let us always endeavor to look to Him, call to Him, learn of Him in order that we may love Him more. This is the core key of successful living in all areas of our lives.

The Life of Joy, The Joy Of Life

2007-08-17T10:08:00.000-07:00

I am amazed by the designs and plans of God for our lives. The word "amazed" and the phrase "plan of God" seem so trite sometimes in that we use those words so often. If we do not stop and quieten ourselves to go deeper than even the level of our vocabulary, the phrases and words can become so stale. Oh Lord, may Your name and your ways never become stale in my mind, in my mouth, in my heart and in my spirit. I am taking a little break from the parenting articles as I am so full of God's love, life and grace. I just have to share.

Today has been such a special day. It is no one's birthday, no holiday or special occasion. It is a day, just a day. However, a day no matter what it entails is a gift and I do not ever want to take the time He has so graciously given for granted.
One thing that has made this day so special is that I am beginning to see more and more of the life God is giving in the place of loss in our lives. We lost our baby to miscarriage about a month and a half ago. My heart is still broken, but a broken heart does not mean it is the end. We named our baby Joy and now I am beginning to see why the Lord gave us that name for this baby who await us on the other side.

A couple of weeks ago I joined Curves which is an exercise facility for women. The women who go there are so friendly and talkative. I feel like I have known them for longer than two weeks. One of the employees named Cindy has been so kind to me and has helped me learn to use the machines correctly. Today, when I walked in, her face just lit up as she approached me. She asked me if she could share something personal and went on to tell me that her oldest daughter who is only 8 weeks pregnant was at the Doctor's office that moment because she had started bleeding heavily. She asked me to pray for her. She asked me about my experience with the miscarriage and about my experiences with having children. I have only spoken with this woman a few times and she is pouring her heart and concern out to me concerning her dear daughter who lives far away in Buffalo, New York. I was able to minister to this woman today because of a loss in my life. If I had not lost Joy, I would not have had the joy of showing the love of Jesus to this dear woman.

Just yesterday I felt so much grief from the loss of baby Joy. I am healing and the days are getting better overall. However grief is an oddity. it can wash over you unexpectedly without any notice or warning. It is a process and it is taking a long time. This morning however, I felt the life flow of baby Joy and the Lord within me so intensely as I had the privilege to encourage this woman with a message of hope.

I experienced the life of Joy who is no longer in my womb, but she is in the embrace of the womb Creator and life Sustain er. When I touched a hurting heart, I felt I was touching Joy. Everything this baby stands for is life because she is alive. And the loss I have experienced is nothing compared to the glory of His life in my heart. This is so simple ,but oh so deep. Lord, may the simpleness of your love never grow stale within me. The life of Joy is bringing me into deeper wells of the Joy of Life. Oh What a Day! Oh What a Savior!!!!

Eternal Life is in Him and this life gives light to all mankind. His life is the light that shines through the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it. John 1:4-5 (Living Bible)

Elevation of Methods and Formulas

2007-08-14T06:02:00.000-07:00

It was the most time consuming, tedious, and tiresome Christmas present he had ever assembled. Oh, the memory. We had to hide the tremendous box away at a friend's home until the children were nestled and snug in their beds that Christmas Eve many years ago. It was all planned out. We would stay up all night if that was what it took to complete this huge project. It was our children's first swing set!

The unusual temperature of that billowy night is a memory I know I will never forget. And I know my dear husband especially will always remember the blistering cold as he labored in love to make the boy's dreams of a swing set a reality. John worked all night and finally completed the project exactly five minutes before they awoke Christmas morning. Whew! That was close!

One reason it took so long to assemble the swing set was that it had so many parts with so many screws. John had to follow the directions carefully, step by step, in order for the swing set to turn out a success. How much like this scenario can we compare parenting? How many times have we asked and searched for methods, formulas, and directions on how to raise our children? The questions start from the time time the parents find out they are expecting a new baby and continue until the child is launched into adulthood.

Wouldn't it be great if all new babies came with an instruction manual that gave step by step directions for that child's life? It would list the brand of diapers that baby should wear, the method of feeding, how to get him or her to sleep through the night at two months old. Then, as you move through the manual you will be instructed as to how to potty train that child and at what age. Later on, you would know for sure whether you are to send your child to public or private school, or even be home schooled. In addition, you would know what discipline techniques work best for this child. At adolescence you would already be well informed as to how to deal with fluctuating hormones,insatiable hunger, and conflicting attitudes. Then the final chapter would guide you to the exact plan for that child after graduation. Everything worked and you are now ready to launch your young adult into life with confidence because you know you stuck to the book and did it all right.

There are so many resources available for parenting that it makes my head spin when I go that section of a book store. Everyone wants a method and a formula for making their children turn out successful. We must be very careful not to try and fit our children into a formula or a method. There is only one equation for all of life and that includes our journey in parenthood.

(Trust in the Lord)+ (with all of your heart)- (leaning on your own understanding)+ (all your ways acknowledging Him)=GOD DIRECTED PATHS. Proverbs 3:5-6

In other words, if we lean upon our own understanding by seeking the perfect method and leaning upon that to work, then we are trusting in something other than the Sovereign God who has the written plan of that child within His safe keeping. Flipping through books, searching the web,and asking other parents are all great sources and we need to take advantage of trustworthy resources. However trusting in anything above the wisdom of our all knowing God makes them idols in our search to be the best parents we can be.

In addition to idolatry , we must also realize that we are harming our children by leaning upon methods and formulas. If we become so fixated on putting together the right ingredients in order to parent successfully, then we are led to relate to our children as if they are projects on conveyor belts. Unfortunately, this causes breakdown in relationship with our precious children. The inner knowing and discernment of children are very keen. Therefore, they sense when we are relating to them in this way. It damages our bond with them as they will feel like we care the most about how they will turn out rather than loving them right now.

God cares about how we all turn out. This is why He came upon this earth as a man to die and save us from an eternal death. However, He delights in us daily just as we are and never makes us feel as though we are His projects just to be completed so that He can be praised for His wonderful accomplishments. We must constantly examine our hearts as parents and repent for trusting in sources other than the Source Himself.

God so loved the world that he sent Jesus. He calls us to love above all other noble things we can do. This will lead us into the next articles which will be centered on trusting the Lord and looking to Him to be the best parent we can in His eyes. We are called to trust in HIM alone.

Over-Dependence on Control

2007-08-01T12:37:00.000-07:00

Once I heard someone talking about a mother who "ran a tight ship". This may have described someone who was well organized and very structured in the way they parented and ran their household. Having a "tight ship" is almost a necessity especially for larger families like us. There has to be a healthy measure of organization and control in order that the family ship runs as smoothly as possible. Does this mean our home is spotless and everything is in place? No way!! However, we do have a system which allows us to flow harmoniously through each day. At the same time the schedule is loose enough to allow for divine interruptions. A ship that is too tight will eventually cause everyone to want to jump off and swim in a different direction. We want our sails to be loose enough that we may be free to flow with the unexpected changes and interruptions.

I remember when our oldest children were younger. I was very into having charts and schedules all over the house. These worked well for a season and the children enjoyed them most of the time. However someone would eventually wake up sick or a neighbor would be in need. There were many occasions when my structured plans would be cancelled. This seems to be even more so now as our family has grown. I also remember having to forget about the neatly made "chore and homework schedules" because of discipline problems. Sitting down with the children and having discussions about the importance of respecting and loving each other and honoring their parents were of more importance compared to sticking to structured schedules.

Do not misunderstand and think I am proposing that control is unimportant or wrong. When our oldest children were younger, much more control was needed to protect them from harm and to teach them responsibility. Even now with our younger ones, we do have a tighter reign on them compared to the teenagers. However, as they grow and mature, we release a little at a time and give them space to grow and become who God created them to be.

In our 17 years of parenting, we have always had to tighten the ship somewhat as our family has grown. The more people who live in one house, the more order is needed so that all members are healthy, safe, clothed, fed, nurtured, and disciplined. A tight ship is a good thing. However, the question we need to re-examine is this- IS YOUR TIGHT SHIP TOO TIGHT?

You ask, "What do you mean by having a ship that is too tight?" Let me ask you, "Have you ever been in some one's home that you feel like you are walking on pins and needles? Have you ever felt like if you breathed too hard, something would break? Have you ever been so uncomfortable around a particular individual that you were afraid if you said one word, your head would be "bitten off" ? Or have you ever felt if you said something you would be criticized for what you expressed? "

We all have probably experienced this type of tension at some point in our lives. The last thing we want to find out years from now is that our own children felt that way growing up in their own home. Rigid rules and harsh discipline along with the other items I mentioned above can breed fear in our children. Sometimes we can be so reliant on our authority to control our children that they can become terrified of us. Therefore, their obedience stems from fear instead of sincere honor. This detriment works against winning their hearts. In addition, too much control intimidates them into subjection and gains only outward compliance.

Finally, as we examine our hearts as parents, let us recall the Father in the parable of the Prodigal Son. After squandering away all of his inheritance, the son returned home to his father who had been waiting and hoping for his son's homecoming. I wonder how this father "ran his ship"? Was it too tight? It seems to me that if this father was overly controlling, the son probably would have been too fearful to go back, too terrified that his father would snap his head off and say, "I told you so." On the other hand, he may have been too bitter to return home because he learned to obey outwardly to his father's harsh demands, while his rebellious heart remained hidden. The home his father provided for him must have been a comfortable and safe place to be. This son was probably taught and trained well, but at the same time, was allowed the space to grow and to find his own way as he matured. This loving father was not dependent on control to mold his son. If this were the case, he would have refused to give his son his inheritance in the first place. This wayward son remembered home as a place of warmth,void of rigid rules and demanding schedules. That is one of the main reason he came home.

Let us be challenged to guard against over dependence on control. We want to relate to our children as precious people who have feelings and the ability to make choices. They eventually will decide if they will continue to respond as trained. No matter how much we try to restrict or control them, they will make their own choices and our hold on them will not guarantee they will turn our exactly as we hope or imagine. We must keep in mind and heart that our children are individuals with a free will who are processing their own lives and upbringing. There will be a point of transfer where they will be accountable to God. Let us focus on how we can touch their hearts with the love of the Lord rather than trusting in control factors.

(The next article will be on Elevation of Methods and Formulas. This will be the last article on the Horses and Chariots of Parenting. We will then be sharing the "Call to Trust" in our Parenting.)

Preoccupation with Outward Form

2007-07-31T12:56:00.000-07:00

As parents we look for and are drawn to other parents who seem to be doing a great job in their calling as parents. It is a good thing to desire positive examples in our lives that we can glean from and draw strength from as we pursue our own charge to raise godly children. So often we look at the outward fruit and draw our own conclusions of godliness. For instance, we are impressed by the modesty, grooming standards, wholesome music styles, respectful manners, organized schedules, and orderly homes of Christian families. This is outward fruit that may or may not represent the inward fruit. We need to be cautious not to be preoccupied with these things in our own parenting as well as being too fixated upon these outward standards in others. Nothing is wrong with these admirable qualities unless we make them a priority and a standard for molding our children's behavior while we altogether miss their hearts. The question to ask here is, "What is the priority?"

In 1 Timothy 2:9, modesty is addressed. However, Jesus emphasized many more times about a changed heart bearing outward fruit than issues of outward form. If the enemy can tempt us to focus on the outward issues above the inward, then all the hype about modest dress, rules of behavior, hairstyles, music choice, etc., are all vanity and pride. The result of this outward focus is judgement in that it is inevitable we will apply our chosen standards to others as if our way is the only right way.

In the last article we discussed how the Pharisees were confronted numerous times by Jesus for defining their own chosen standards as holiness. Then they belittled others who did not hold to their standards. For example, when I was a young mother of 2 children, I went to visit a friend who had three children who were older than my sons. My oldest, Bradley, was 2 at the time. I had not seen my friend in several years. One of the first questions she asked me was if Bradley was "potty trained" yet. When I replied no, she gave me a frown and critically said, "I cannot believe that. I had ALL of mine potty trained before they were two." Needless to say, I left there that day feeling like a failure as a mother because of some other's standard for potty training.

Here is the test. When we believe or feel like WE have achieved results with our children, we can very easily become proud of our accomplishments. Furthermore, in our pride, we judge others by those areas we feel most successful. Beware. We must not elevate issues more that Jesus did.

Another point here is that we need to guard against our motives for why we make certain choices in our families. In my past experiences I have heard many mothers share about how they make their bread from scratch, raise their own food, and mop their kitchens everyday. These are all great things. Homemade bread is one of my favorites! However, if we do these things to parade them in front of others as an indicator as to how great we are as parents or we think that certain methods of doing things exemplify the best to our children, then we are deceived.

Recently, I read a story about a pastor who visited a mother who was dying with cancer. Her pastor asked, "If you could go back and change one thing as a parent, what would you do?" This dear mother replied, "I would have baked less bread and spent more time playing with my children." This is a sobering story. We should all be exhorted to continually assess our methods and our standards along with the motives behind them. Remember, it is more about touching our children's hearts, not molding them on the outside into our cookie cutter ideas of successful children.

Many times I have failed in this area with my teenagers. I became so focused on their external state, that I did not take time to be still before them and listen to their hearts. We must also guard against this especially with our teenagers. Many times I think we as Christians can get so caught up in expecting "bad fruit" from our teenagers because of the world's attitude about teens. When one of my teenagers becomes very quiet and aloof, I have been guilty of making wrong judgements upon him because I was focusing on what I thought was negative fruit. If we are not careful to "listen to their hearts", we can push our teenagers away in seasons when they need us the most. How needy we are as parents to be still in our hearts during our busyness that we may correctly hear the inward cries of our children.

Lord, help us to continually humble ourselves before You that we may have tender hearts toward our children's hearts. Help us not to be overly focused on outward form that we may have clear vision of what they need in their souls. You say to be still and know you are God. Teach us to do just that so we will know Your best for our children . In Jesus Name, Amen

Religion of Avoidance

2007-07-24T12:02:00.000-07:00

When our now 17, 15, and 13 year old sons were much younger,I was very sensitive to their surroundings and everything they were exposed to. Yes, I admit it. I was a "smother mother". Isn't it a good thing to guard and protect our children from the negative influences of this world? After all, God's word says "Guard your hearts for it is the well-spring of life." When our children are very young they do not understand what this means, so we are responsible for sheltering them from things that could influence them spiritually and emotionally, as well as physically.

However, I do believe that sheltering can be more of a detriment to our children rather than a positive enhancement when we become to rely on it as the solution to the problem of our children being influenced by the world.

When our three oldest were younger, I was very cautious about what they watched on TV, what types of stories they read, and who their friends were. These things in themselves were not bad, but I did over react in these areas many times. For example, we had friends that we spent a lot of time with. They had one son who was the same age as our second child. The little boy loved to watch a show called "Power Rangers". Power Rangers was a "no no" at our house because it was violent and "supposedly" based on New Age beliefs which presented your own power rather than God's power to fight and destroy evil.

When we would have this family over, the little boy wanted to constantly act out the characters in Power Rangers. I would politely, but firmly tell them that particular type of play was not allowed in our home. However, all of the little boys would continue running around kicking and performing their intimidating "karate chops" on one another. It irritated me so much that I almost stopped allowing our boys to play with the little boy. However, we continued to build a friendship with this family. If we had not been in their lives at the time, the mother and father very well could have divorced as they had just come through a trial of infidelity in their marriage. We were able to be utilized by the Lord to help save their relationship. My religion of avoidance could have stopped us from being a blessing to this family who needed safe friends during a time of darkness in their marriage. Furthermore, our chidren are not ruined for life because they played a few rough and tough games of Power Rangers.

This should make us think of the Pharisees who were the religious rulers at the time of Jesus life on earth. Jesus was constantly confronting them because they avoided anything that seemed to taint or defile. This practice of avoidance made them appear and feel holy. If we as parents become too fixated on keeping our family from corruption, we can become prideful of our higher standards. therefore,we are not much different from the Pharisees.

The fact is that if we are not careful, parenting can become one of the most prideful and arrogant areas of our lives. We must not think we are prone to even the point where we "boast" or "share" with others the standards we share. We really should not offer our standards unless we are asked.

Another negative to being fixated on sheltering is that in our pride we become very in tune to what other parents are doing or not doing in their methods of parenting. Unfortunately we fall into being judgemental. Not only does this hinder us from developing relationships with others that need the Jesus who is in us, but it also teaches our children to be self righteous and prideful. As they "inherit " these seemingly "holy" mindsets, they also go through life looking down at others whom God wants to touch through them. It "messes" with our entire destiny.

Let us guard against the horses and chariots of over sheltering. Instead of them being a tool in our hand to defeat the enemy, these weapons can easily be turned against us and our children for our own destruction instead of our glorious transformation.

(Check back soon for the next horse and chariot of parenting, PREOCCUPATION WITH OUTWARD FORM)

The ABC's of Parenting Part 1

2007-07-23T12:51:00.000-07:00

Some trust in horses,some trust in chariots, but we trust in the name of the LORD OUR GOD. (Psalm 20:7)

Quote: "In life, children have a tendency to transition from total dependence in their younger years, to total independence from their parents as they get older. The goal of parenting is to lead our childrern to interdependence within the framework of a strong Christian faith."

(In these next several blogs, we will be breaking down the ABC's of parenting into seperate articles. We realize that raising and training our children is not as easy as "ABC". However, we hope to impart the simple truth in that we serve a loving God, the only one true God who is trustworthy.)

A IS FOR ALIGNMENT- we must align ourselves with the truth and take action toward that truth.

Imagine you are a king and a warrior. You hear from your trusted watchmen that a massive army of men and chariots are planning to come against you. A feeling of dread and fear tries to settle upon you for you know your men do not equal in the strength and the number of your adversaries. The enemies possess elaborate chariots which can hold 3 or 4 soldiers and strong horses to pull them. These chariots also have sharp blades protruding forcefully from each wheel ready to mow down and slice up anything in its path. You ask the internal question, "What am I going to do? There is no way we can defeat, much less survive this multitude of aggressive warriors who have the weapons and the power to flatten us in a mere moment."

This was an actual event recorded in 1 Chronicles 18 and in 2 Samuel 10.
Whenever the Israelites were preparing to send a king into battle with his troops, a prayer would be spoken over the king and the army. Psalm 20 is the actual prayer spoken by the people over King David, Joab the commander, and the entire army. Because of the law of the land, the Isrealites were not allowed to have all of the intricate weapons that the Ammonites and the Syrians depended on. However, they had God and they knew He was all they needed. In Psalm 20:7, they declared, "Some trust in horses and some trust in chariots, but we trust in the Name of the Lord our God."
And because they truly trusted in the God who is trustworthy, David and his army faced their fear and defeated the enemy. Through his faith and dependence on the Lord, David and his men killed 40,000 men and destroyed 7000 charioteers!

What does this have to do with parenting? It has everything to do with parenting because it is all about trust. Where do we put our trust when it comes to raising our children in a godly way? This is a question we must continually ask ourselves as none of us are prone to getting off track. As Christians, we desire the best for our children, but even with the best intentions, we can fall so easily into leaning on the horses and chariots instead of the Chief Warrior, Jesus Christ. Some of the methods and ideas we look to are usually very good, but good elevated above the best becomes a detriment if placed on the throne above trusting the Lord.

Horses and Chariots represent our own strengths and our own reasonings of what will mold and make our children into successful, well behaved, well respectful human beings. In this segment we will share the first horse and chariot of parenting.

I. RESULTS ORIENTED

As parents we all have a strong desire to see our children be and become all that God wants them to be. However, sometimes we can get so caught up in the goals and dreams we have for our children we can become overly focused on the envisioned results and even succumb to using them as a measure of success in our parenting. When things are going well, we often become very relaxed and even a bit prideful. Family can become as a trophy or as a badge of honor to be admired by others or even God. This is a form of idolatry because our true security is from God, not how successful we are as parents.

In addition, we must realize that all idols require a sacrifice. Therefore, we end up sacrificing relationship with our children for the idol of the family. We make a trade here that was never our intent. We exchange their hearts for our reputation.

The world measures success in every area of our lives by the observed results. Because God's ways are not ours and His thoughts are far above our way of thinking, He defines success in moment by moment, day by day obedience.We have heard the statement over and over." The true test of your parenting is not evident until you see how the child turns out as an adult." How about all of the parents who are obedient and look to God with consistency and devotion and their children choose to go the wrong way in life? Can we really judge the parent? We must realize that God measures parents' success by obedience not by how their children choose to respond to their influence. Obedience is not the formula for success, obedience is the highest success. Isn't this a liberating truth?

(Check back soon for the next part, RELIGION OF AVOIDANCE)

"Measly Pickins"

2007-07-14T06:50:00.000-07:00

People were everywhere. The old and the young made their way down the grassy hill toward the awaiting shore. It was not the water they were drawn to, but a Man who was and is the Source of living water. Deep down they all knew, the babes, moms, dads, grandmas and grandpas. They knew where the real Water was, so that was all they could think of that day. They must not have known how long they would linger to listen and to gaze upon the God Man who had everything to give, for most of them came with no plan for the day except to glean and feast of the Bread of the Living Word.

However, there was a little boy who came prepared that day. His mother must have had a inner knowing or even a hope that her little boy would be away for a large part of the day. Therefore she sent him off with a package of bread and fish.

Jesus had been teaching a good portion of the day, so he began to feel the natural hunger of the crowd. He turned to Phillip,one of his disciples, and asked, "Phillip, Where are we going to buy bread to feed all of these people?" Why was Jesus asking a question He already knew the answer to? He wanted to impart a truth to Phillip in a way that he could not learn from a mere lecture.

Looking around as he pondered the question, he replied, "It would take a fortune to even begin to feed them." As this was being discussed, Andrew was listening in and seeking his own solution to the problem. He spoke up. "There is a little boy here with 5 barley loaves and a couple of fish, but what good will that do?" Jesus then told the disciples to have everyone sit down on the grassy hill. Jesus began to show His name faithful, by passing enough bread and fish out to fulfill all of the people. In addition, the scraps were gathered which filled 12 baskets with enough leftovers for the disciples. What a powerful example of GOD making the seemingly impossible, completely possible from the measly pickins of a little boys' lunch.

When the impossibilities stare us in the face, the reality of what is within us surfaces, just as the doubtful comments of the Phillip and Andrew. The ironic thing is that the disciples had already witnessed miracle after miracle. You would think they would have immediately blurted out the answer to the question Jesus asked.

As I was meditating on the faithless response of the miracle marinated disciples, I began to think about what my own response would have been. I also thought about how I have responded to impossible situations. Because I have always been a pretty emotional person, my first response would probably have been panick, anxiety or distress. Being the "feeling" person that I am ,I may have broken down in fearful tears and judged the whole situation through my timidity and anxiety.

Now there are those who are rational thinkers who like to process things through figuring it out. "Well, in ain't lookin so good. Now see here, we have 5 little biscuits here, and two smelly little fish. Hmmm, Nope, just ain't no way, just ain't no way."

Then I think of the ones who are full of faith and even though they cannot feel it and they cannot figure it, they proclaim, "WITH MY GOD, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!"

So let us ask ourselves,"Am I a feeler, a figurer or a faither?" Regardless of what we are, God meets us with our "measley pickins" if we will transfer them to Him. What are your measley pickins? What if God is showing you an impossible situation that you know you cannot comprehend how it will work out? Maybe you are thinking, "I do not have the time. I do not have a dime. I am not spiritual enough or smart enough. I do not know enough scripture, and I have too many of my own problems. I am too shy, too weak and tired." God says, "Give me your little lunch, your measely pickins and watch what I can do with them. All I ask is that you give me your seemingly pitiful offerings. When you place them in my hands, the miraculous will happen. Your offerings of weakness and inadequacies are lovely to Me."

So beloved, as you wait upon the shore of the never ending river, be assured that when we hand over all things to Him, our little bits as well our abundance, He is faithful to multiply it all into more than we could ever imagine in our limited minds. Let us be thankful for the Sovereignty of God whose ways are not our ways and whose thoughts are far above and beyond our own. Taste and see that the Lord is Good. Have a great Lunch!!!

Reasons for This Season

2007-07-10T06:11:00.000-07:00

Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted. (Matthew 5:4)

Just days ago, before the miscarriage, I wrote a blog about being a comforter. As we have received much comfort, we must freely give that which has been freely given to us by the Master Comforter. When we first saw the ultrasound and the evidence that there was no longer life within my womb, immediately I went into shock mode. It was as if some voice said, "FREEZE". And that I did. My heart stood still as if it had stopped beating all of a sudden. I felt dead.

This entire circumstance has and is one that I could never imagine unless I was in the midst of it. You do not really know until it is happening or has happened to you. It does not mean that you are hard hearted and without compassion when one is going through something you have never experienced. However, there is a depth created in those places of suffering that one cannot know unless you are personally walking through that valley.

The valley I have been walking is the valley of death through miscarriage. I have cried out to My God to show me what it is He wants to teach me about Himself through this. He has said to me over and over, "Be still and know that I am God." Okay Lord, I am frozen, I am paralyzed by this grief. Now what is it You want me to know about You?

He has been showing me many things about this turmoil and pain. I refuse to not talk about pain. Miscarriage seems to be such a "hush hush " topic. It is minimized by many because this life never passed through the birth canal and entered into this life. This child was never seen, therefore it is easy to brush it under and to "forget" . It was "only" a miscarriage.

I am here to say this experience has opened my eyes to a silent pain that I never knew existed. A mother knows when her body begins to change with the signs of life within her. This begins in the first weeks of conception. With me, I knew after 5 days that I was expecting. I felt dizzy and strange. I felt tired and queasy. I knew there was new life within me. I was over joyed!! The life flow of the little person was already a part of me and the eternal bond was there to stay.

My hope and prayer is that everything God is walking me through will be a blessing to others who will walk this valley also. I hope to be a vessel who God will offer many blankets of peace and comfort to others suffering this silent grief. I mentioned earlier that I had asked the Lord what He wanted to teach me. I am learning that He is not teaching me, He is training me. We can be taught many things, but there is a deeper level of knowing, of understanding, of living and breathing when we are trained. Training is when our hands are in it and we are doing it and experiencing it. Teaching is gaining knowledge that may only go so far as an intellectual understanding. Teaching leads one to think, but training guides one to feel. It is all about passion.

There are many things God is revealing to me through this season. One, I am realizing that I am not as in control of myself as I thought I was. When you are hurting with such an intense pain, it is as if you have been traumatized by a huge tidal wave that has crashed upon you. You are tumbling this way and that with deep sorrow, anger, numbness, confusion, fear, and on and on. I am not in control of myself and this has been a humbling revelation. One of the fruits of the spirit is self control. Should not I have self control if the spirit is within me? Why am I feeling out of control with my emotions? The Lord reminded me that He will allow these pains to reveal to us that there is never an end to our dependence on Him. Just when we get to a place where we think we are walking so close to Him and that we are fulfilled, He will remind us through adversity that the well of need that HE created will never be filled so much to the level that we have arrived to some spiritual accomplishment.

No I am not in control! Praise His faithful name. However, He is in control. Last Tuesday, after the D&C, my Dr. told my husband that I came to a little after the surgery. She told him that I opened my eyes and said, "GOD IS IN CONTROL!" I do not remember saying it as I was still affected by the anesthesia. I was encouraged to know that even though I have felt out of control, that there is rest and peace in the truth that HE IS IN CONTROL! The Hope of glory within is in control of me. I have not one thing to fear, for His love holds me close, so close to His breast as He constantly breathes everlasting grace into my soul without reserve. Shalom.

(My next few blogs will be about more things God has been speaking to me about waiting on Him, abiding in Him, His faithfulness to come to us in His manifest presence, and being thrust into His arms through pain and disappointment. Keep checking back if you would like to read about these things)

Many Blessings and thanks for reading the things I am sharing from my heart. I pray you are blessed and strengthened.

Ange

The Joy I Knew

2007-07-01T06:49:00.000-07:00

You came into my life
A lovely surprise
You gave me smiles and laughter
The thought of you filled my soul
And my spirit rejoiced.

Within me I felt your life,
Yet you were so tiny
I never felt you move,
or kick or squirm.

Yet you moved me
And you always will
For I knew who you were
And I know who you are now
You are Joy.

I saw you as an arrow
Being shot straight up to Heaven
To be a blessing there
As you were to me here

You brought laughter to my heart
Whenever I thought of you
Whenever I shared about you
You are as real as the tears I cry.
You are Joy.

I miss you and the pain is overwhelming
Knowing that we are apart
I never felt the stabs of grief so deeply
I never felt so empty
but you are Joy

I know I am blessed
Beyond measure
To have known you but for a moment
I cradle you in my heart always
You are Joy

I feel my dreams have died
And my hopes have been eliminated
However, life is more than now
Life is beyond this present span

You are there in the Arm's of glory
And His joy is rocking you
Ever so gently
Ever so lovingly
Forever you are Joy

I have hope and I know
That one day I will hold you
And I will see your beautiful face
And kiss your laughter filled cheeks

For now my precious Joy,
I will think of you everyday
I will hope in the coming day
And I will rejoice in your life
Always you are Joy

This poem is written to honor our little angel who went to live with the Lord on June 28th, 2007. We named the baby Joy. We lost this baby to miscarriage at 7 weeks and 4 days. However, the life of this child was real. The life of this baby meant so much. I want to honor this precious beautiful life who was within my womb for only a moment. This life had a purpose and I believe one day we will hold this child when we enter the gates of Heaven. I am blessed to have known this child. I never saw the baby or felt the movements of his or her life. However , I felt and still feel the way this baby moved my heart. I am eternally grateful for this precious Joy.

From Comforted to Comforter

2007-06-25T13:41:00.000-07:00

I just have to comment about yesterday's message. Pastor Sterling spoke about The Real World. He shared the facts about Atlanta, Georgia in that there are many wonderful things about our city. There is the opportunity for education, business, appreciation for the arts, and much more. These are the things we tend to hear of the most. However, the dark side of Atlanta is that it not so much the City of Fountains, but has a widespread reputation for its perversity in prostitution, homosexuality, sex trading and more unthinkable things. This is the Real World.

We live in a world that is so anti-family and the dark side of our city demonstrates this to no end. We need to wake up to reality and realize God placed us here for a reason and for a mission. Everything we have struggled through and everything that has seemingly been our weakness is the very area God wants to turn into our strengths and this becomes our mission.

Last night I was watching a special on the sex trade and prostitution
in India. Some of these girls are sold by their own families into this industry because of the poverty and the desperate need for income. Some of these girls were as young as eleven. I began to think about Sunday's message and the reality that these same types of things go on right beyond our own back doors within our own community.

In our fast paced, fast food, instant potato and microwave culture, many of us really do not have a clear or a deep understanding of suffering. We want to live lives of comfort and convenience. However, Jesus said if anyone desires to follow Him , he must deny himself and pick up his cross (Matthew 16:24). Jesus picked up His cross after he had been beaten and scourged until there was no flesh left upon him.

His suffering demonstrates to us that if we want to follow Him , we must be willing to suffer through tests and trials. We need to change our perspective on suffering. We can count it all joy when we go through valleys because God is using those things to dig wells of compassion within us as well as building a mission for us to carry out. Think about it! You are a mission that has been in the making ready to happen. You are a fireball of God's fiery love and power ready to slam against the forces of darkness. You are a bomb ready to explode and disarm the enemy's evil intent to hinder God's Kingdom.

That is why you have been hearing all of those lies lately. Have you heard them? They constantly echo, "You are no good. You are a failure. You have too many hang ups to be of any use to God. Give it up and quit trying to be someone you are not." If you have been hearing this lately. Take heart. It is time to step into action. It may only start with sticking your toe in the sea. However, if you make this one little move, the ocean will part.

I loved the part of the message where we were exhorted to not only allow God to come to us and comfort us in times of need, but to also go and be a comforter. We have been through many tests in our finances, families , relationships and health. We have received much comfort from the Lord. Now it is time to go and give some comfort to others who need it. We have received much, now we must freely give.

At the end of the service, there were two statements made in which we were to raise our hands for prayer. The first thing stated was to acknowledge that you are in a place where you need comforting and you need to come to God in repentance and restoration. The second one was to lift your hand if you have been comforted and feel the stirring of God to move forward and do something to be a comforter. ironically I sensed I have been in both places at the same time these past weeks. I have needed God's mercy grace and comfort, but also have had an ongoing gnawing within to go and comfort and to make a difference. I love it when God shows up in the midst of this type of turbulence.

Just the other day I was talking with the Lord and I asked Him to just show up in a special way. I was feeling discouraged and desperate for Him to come and encourage. Because His ways are not our ways, He never shows up in the way we imagine Him to. I was looking for a word or even a phone call.....I was just wanting to hear from Him. I was looking for a special bird to show up on my deck rail just as some manifestation that He was near.

Instead I received a phone call, but it was not for me. It was a needy friend who was in town and wanted to come by. She was the one who needed the most encouragement and help. My woes were of nothing compared to what she was going through. She stayed for hours and the Lord allowed me to speak truth to her and to encourage her. God showed up, but He wanted me to get out of me and to be a comforter in spite of my own pain. In ministering to this dear lady the Lord met me and showed me something tangible He had been speaking to my heart earlier. "Do you want to be healed, encouraged and strengthened? I will do that by showing you the strength that I have already deposited within you. I will continue to send those in need so that you can comfort them with my Love. In turn, you will be healed and lifted up through giving in this way." As the Lord spoke through Pastor Sterling. "Take your comforter and comfort someone else. This is true life. This is His call to THE REAL WORLD.

Sharing In His Heart

2007-06-20T08:30:00.000-07:00

I had two quiet times this morning with the Lord. Can you believe it? A busy mother with a house full of energetic babies, preschoolers, "middlers" and teenagers had two quiet times this morning? Yes and Amen! And it was not anything wondrous about me or my spirituality, it was just a very intense neediness to go to my Father and cry out to Him and to inquire of Him about certain ways I have been feeling.

I have everything to be grateful for and I am thankful for every blessing God has bestowed upon my life. Does that mean I never feel down with scattered emotions and lingering loneliness? No! Does it neccessarly mean I am in sin and just need to repent? Not always.

Sometimes the Lord gives us gifts that are unwelcome and feel uncomfortable.
As I was praying and asking the Lord why I was feeling that way, I felt both of His hands touch my chest as if He was imparting something dear from His heart to mine. I began to weep, not really knowing why. Then I heard Him say, "Be still and know."
I did not hear the entire scripture of, "Be still and know I am God." However, He knew I that I knew the rest. For a special reason He wanted me to hear that part of the scripture because He wanted to emphasize something of the last part, "I am God."

I began to share with the Lord how I feel alone at times because so much of my life is about giving and sharing. Mothers give daily and without reserve. It is our calling and it is our joy. However, sometimes we can become depleted and just want to rest and be in the company of someone who just appreciates us for who we are, not for what we can do for them and give them, but just because they delight in our uniqueness. The Lord showed me this morning that this is why I am feeling down.

Then I began to feel His heart. He showed me that He often feels this way. He is God and HE is our all in all who provides for us and is the source of all our needs. So often we go to Him as just that and nothing else. We fail so often to just enjoy His company because there is no one like Him. We become passive in our attention toward Him as someone beautiful, desirable, holy and set apart from all others. He showed me his loneliness this morning. Then I repented and cried to Him that I wanted more of Him not because He is just my Source, but because He is desirable and HE is my love.

Be still and know that I am God
Know that I feel lonely at times too.
Know that I want to be known for Me.
Not just for what I can give you.
Not for just how I can meet your needs.
Even though it is my joy to do just that,
It delights Me more to know in My heart,
That you just want to be with Me
Because I am lovely and desired by you.
I give my hurts at times for you to feel,
Because I want you to know that I get lonely and frustrated.
You are never alone in your pain, in Your joys and triumphs,
Be still and know Me as I know you.
I have given you My heart and My Spirit that you may share in My feelings too.
Be still and know that I know,
Be still and know Me more.

Lord, I thank you for allowing me to feel and know your heart this morning.
Thank you for deeper revelations that You are the God who wants to be known. You are the God who feels. You are the God who gets lonely and gets frustrated at times. Thank you for allowing me to share that with you. Thank you for trusting us as your friends to hear and experience the cries in Your heart. I am amazed that the God of Glory would be so vulnerable with His own heart. Wow, You are incredible, just incredible. Amen.

DEVOUR SOME HUMBLE PIE: Respecting Our Husbands, Part 2

2007-06-19T05:45:00.000-07:00

Ephesians 5:33 says, "And let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband. (that she notices him, regards him, honors him prefers him, and loves and admires him exceedingly.)

If I did a survey on 100 women and asked them,, "Do you respect your husband?" What do you think the outcome would be? I believe that most women would admit that they do repect their husbands, but would they be able to explain how they are showing their husbands respect? Because we women are very emotional beings, we often wait for our husbands to meet our need for love first before we are willing to give them respect. according to Eph.5:33, this is not the way we should act. We are not to wait. We are to see that we are being respoonsible for our part in the relationship by giving our husband's unconditional respect. When we give them this through actions, we are in essence saying with our heart, our hands, our eyes, and our overall countenance, " I love you!!!" This is what keeps and covers the heart of our husbands. It is not in how we dress to the latest fashion, or the manicures and pedicures we purchase. It is not in highlights in the hair and the cologne that we wear. But love is shown by the honor and esteem we willingly present our husbands with intent and obedience.

Last week I shared the first 3 points of practical ways we can actively show our husbands repect. This week, I am sharing the next three points. If these have been weak areas for you, and we all have weaknesses in these areas, I would encourage you to use these as a prayer list. Go to your secret place and ask the Lord to show you which areas He would like for you to focus on. Circle one or two and allow the Lord to give you grace to be strengthened in those areas by putting them into action. His grace is sufficient.

4. A respectful wife venerates her husband. This means that she intentionally looks upon him with deep respect. We can control and choose our thoughts toward them. When we look upon our husbands, do we crticize his weakness and grumble within our hearts about those traits? Or do we take our thoughts captive (2Cor.10:4-5) and make it a habit to dwell on the good qualities God has given him?

5. As respectful wife esteems her husband. She values him highly. We are usually careful in the way we handle valuable belongings. Do we make his schedule more important than ours? Is what I have to do more important than what he has to do? Am I looking out for my interests or his? Sarah called Abraham Lord, not because she worshipped him above God, but because she recognized He was God's appointed headship in her marriage.

6. A respectful wife defers to her husband. This means to yeild with courtesy. She is cheerful toward him and encourages him without complaining. She does not nag, insist on her having her own way, fights to have the last word, and does not put undue requirements on him. If someone invites her to do something, she checks with him first.

When we make an effort with God's help to show our husbands respect, we are allowing the Holy Spirit to change us first. When we are changed, God then works through us to bring change in the lives of others. Are you feeling a little low on love in your marriage? Then check your respect level. Check back next week for Part 3 in gleaning pracitcal ways to put hands and feet to what God has called us to do in respecting our husbands.

DEVOUR SOME HUMBLE PIE: Repecting Our Husbands, Part 1

2007-06-14T08:17:00.000-07:00

Just yesterday I met a wonderful woman who is the mother of ten children. She encouraged me so much as I listened to so much wisdom and love flow from her mouth. One thing she said is that having children causes you to eat much humble pie. As each new child comes along we are forced to eat more of it as we realize we are totally dependent on God's abundant grace in all of our relationships whether it be with our children, our family and friends and especially our spouse.

I had a lady from another state email me and ask me what to do in a marriage where the husband is emotionally disconnected. When there are strains in relationships, we tend to go to the Lord in prayer for the other person who seems to have the problem. Even though the other person may have a problem, I believe the Lord wants us to change the way we pray. Do we stop praying for change in the other person? No. However, we need to add to our prayers by asking the Holy Spirit to change us first.

This is so important in marital relationships as it is the most challenging relationship there is. As wives, our greatest need is to be loved. Therefore our tendency is to operate out of our need by showing our husbands that love. Our husband's greatest need is respect. History and experience shows that this is a difficult area for wives to demonstrate to our husbands because it is not our strongest area.

Showing respect to our husbands is not at first a natural action, but it is a choice of obedience. The definition of respect is to show honor or esteem for, consider or treat with deference or courtesy, to show consideration for.

I did some research a while back and came up with a list of practical ways to show respect as it is an action way before it is a feeling. Many times we must first do things before the emotions are there. I will share this list in 3 parts as it is long. Be on the look out for part 2 and 3 of this important truth.

Ephesians 5:33 says to let the wife see that she respects her husband and that she reverences him. (A woman who respect's her husband notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, and loves and admires him exceedingly).

1. A respectful wife notices her husband. She thinks only of him and does not compare him with other men. She is content and pays attention to his strengths and the things he is growing into. She also compliments him in this.

2. A respectful wife regards and honors her husband. She does this by supporting him whether she agrees with him or not. This helps him to succeed by knowing she is on his side. She appeals to him if she does not agree and approaches him with courteous conduct. This is not done with harsh or a controlling tone. In addition,she does not "mother" him. This may make him feel smothered in addition to feeling as though his wife does not believe in him or trust him.

3.She prefers him. She chooses him above all other relationships and puts away all distractions such as phone calls, computer and TV. As he shares with her, she gives him her eyes. In addition, she puts him at the top of her prayer list and prays also for changes in herself.

Remember, respect is something displayed by the way we treat our husbands. If we feel respect we must show it. If we do not feel respect, we must show it. Let us be grateful for our husbands. Thankfulness clothes our husbands. It drives away discontentment. Respect and honor build him up. When we build up our husbands, everyone wins. Let us all choose respect.

Check back soon for Part 2 of respecting our husbands. You will find more nuggets to apply everyday in a practical way. In the mean time sisters, think on these things. Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things.(Phil.4:8)

Fathers, Love is in the Little Things

2007-06-13T06:38:00.000-07:00

I cannot go this Father's Day without writing about my own Father and honoring him for his faithfulness to my mother and our entire family. It is on these occasions we should seize every opportunity to express our gratefulness to our Fathers for their love and presence in our lives. Maybe your father was not around and maybe you do not have the greatest memories of your father as you were growing up. However, you can still honor him as your parent by acknowledging that you have a father and that you honor him regardless of his shortcomings and failures. In this age of the fatherless it is difficult to do that because it is easy to choose to be bitter and unforgiving toward them as human beings. You become bitter and hard and choose to live as victims as though life has dealt you a hard blow and you can never get over it. Therefore, you build walls around your heart and whether you know it or not, you take it out on every loved one that comes into your life. Your spouse becomes the target or even your children, not because you had a difficult relationship with your father, but because you made the choice to not forgive. The focus of this blog is not to emphasize fatherlessness so much, but I just wanted to touch on it as this day we recognize is difficult for many people in this age as so many adults now and even children are growing up in families where the father has left or is just not attentive to his family. I believe the day is coming where God's spirit will be poured out in such a profound way that multitudes of the fatherless will know God as Father. It is in the very places of our lives in which we have lacked that God is waiting to rush in and fill.

Now I would like to talk about my Father and how he impacted my life as a little girl. Many times I think fathers want so much to provide well for their families and to give them so much, that they fail to see how much the seemingly little things bring love and positive influence to their children. In this post, I want to list some of those "seemingly" little things my Daddy did that meant so much to me.

Simply Thank You Daddy

I remember the times you would let me ride to the store with you and you would always buy me one of those little containers of ice cream with the wooden spoons! In that you said "I love you".

I remember that you came home from work everyday at the same time and if you were going to be late, you called Momma. In that you said, "I love You."

I remember you taught me many things like working in the yard, checking the oil in the car, pumping gas, driving the boat, how to swim and ski, how to balance a checkbook, how to drive a car , how to be friendly to others,and how to respect my mother. In that you said, "I love you."

I remember you always told me everyday that you loved me. I do not remember a day when you did not say it. In that, I knew you loved me.

I remember that when I was disrespectful, you would spank me. In that you were saying, "I love you."

I remember when you would always ask about my days and how school was going. You would express how proud you were of me. In that you said, 'I love you"

I remember you worked hard and provided for our family. We always had enough, but not too much that it was harmful to us. In that you said, "I love you"

I remember you always taught me about the importance of being responsible and diligent in all we put our hands to . In that you said, "I love you"

I remember that you always (and still do) loved Momma and put her first always. In that you were saying, 'I love you."

Thank you Daddy for all of the little things you did over the years that truly spoke the Father's love into my heart. It was in the seemingly little things you did that impacted my life. I know the heavenly Father's love because I was blessed with the unconditional love of my earthly father. I appreciate all of your hard work over the years and your faithfulness to Momma and our family. It truly provided a strong foundation for me to build my life upon. I simply say, Thank you Daddy!

Never underestimate the little things you do for others. It is not in money,fame, and earthly attainments, but it is in how well you love that truly impacts others for a life time. Happy Father's Day Daddy.

I love you.

Ange

It is Easy to Say I am Sorry

2007-06-06T08:04:00.000-07:00

Is it easy to say 'I am sorry?" Some may say yes, others may think otherwise. However the point I am making is that it is easy to say "I am sorry" rather than asking, "Will you forgive me?" I have been thinking much about this lately as it seems there have been some strains in relationships lately with family and friends.
Strains and struggles in relationships are not bad in themselves. But it is in how we react and handle those conflicts that determine whether our relationships are strengthened or weakened.

The greatest tool we have in strengthening our most treasured connections with others is humility. Sometimes it seems to take alot less humility to say I am sorry rather than asking one's forgiveness.

Last summer John and I help to facilitate a parenting class called Growing Kids God's Way. There was so much valuable and biblical information offered. However the one area which stood out the most to me was the teaching on repentance, forgiveness, and restoration. These truths have really been surfacing in my heart and mind lately. I would like to share some of the teaching from Let the Children Come by Ezzo and Ezzo.

-Understanding and encouraging repentance in the context of family relationships is one of the cornerstones of the family.

-Repentance begins with the offender.

-Forgiveness is a process requiring agreement between two parties.There can be repentance without forgiveness and there can be forgiveness without repentance. In order for restoration and strengthening in relationships there has to be the reception of both from the offender and the offended.

-Restoration is always the final objective. Often a child will cry and say I am sorry, but that is not enough. Our children need to be restored to us in a right relationship. Restoring the relationship closes the offense and buries it.

Now what was the point about it being easy to say I am sorry? Asking for forgiveness as opposed to saying I am sorry is an act of humility. When I say, "I am sorry", I am dictating the conditions of my apology. Asking for forgiveness is different. To say I am sorry acknowledges a mistake such a breaking something that belongs to someone else, or accidentally stepping on some one's toe. However, to ask, "Will you forgive me?" is to acknowledge the motives of the heart.

These truths are not new to any of us, but sometimes seems to be the most difficult truth to live by. Humility and a quick willingness to repent and ask forgiveness is an open door to the largest meassures of God's grace and favor. Let us each day humble ourselves in God's sight that we may stay pure and strong in our fellowship with Him and loved ones in our lives.

James 4:6 But He gives more grace. therefore He says, " God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

My Soul Magnifies the Lord

2007-06-05T05:44:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I have blogged. We have been home from vacation for over a week now. With all of the laundry and unpacking on top of having out of town guests, there has not been much time for writing. A lot of things are happening and unless you read this blog, you will not know what is going on in our lives right now. I am not planning on telling my family and friends that I have written a new blog. But for those of you who check periodically will know what is up.

Do you want to know what is up? Well, we are currently pregnant with baby number 10!! I have been in shock the last few days as I really did not think we would expecting again so soon. However, just a few days before I found out I was in my room thinking about the Lord. I kneeled by my bed and put my head against the mattress and asked the Lord what He thought about us having another baby. I told Him that I would love to have another baby if He saw fit. John and I had already agreed that we would like another baby as we have had a couple of prophetic words spoken to us that we would have 10 children.

Just days after this prayer, I began to feel queasy, dizzy and tired. The feeling was all too familiar. So, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive! It is amazing to me that with each pregnancy, it has seemed like the first. Only a mother can understand this. The excitement and wonder is as if you were pregnant with your first. As Mary the Mother of Jesus said, "My soul doth magnify the Lord. My spirit rejoices in God my Savior."

The thing that is difficult however is the lack of excitement from others when you find out you are having baby number 4, 5 , 9 or 10. The attitude of the world says,
"You gotta be kidding. How many are you going to have? Don't you know what causes that? You are crazy. You have some loose screws." And on and on it goes. When you have your first, everyone is excited. There are phone calls, congratulations and best wishes, baby showers and celebrations. Even when number two comes along, everyone is excited because baby number one will have a brother or sister. Number three and four are not too bad, but you do begin to get a few looks and comments. For me the worst was when we found out we were having number five. The unkind remarks kept me in tears and I had alot of healing to go through.

God is so faithful in that I had just become a part of a ladies bible study where the women prayed over me and the baby (Jamie). I found much healing and restoration as I knew that God was covering me and affirming me during that time. I carried shame for a while and felt as if I had done something sinful and wrong by becoming pregnant again.

But this is what God says,"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. happy (blessed) is the man whose quiver is full of them.
They shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate. Psalm 127:3-5. I choose to listen to what God says because His words are truth. His words stand forever.

I hope that my story will encourage other young mothers whom God has called to have many children. This calling carries its own set of persecutions and word arrows that can be very painful. If we do not go our Shelter and Strong Tower, we will become bitter toward the world. We want to stay soft and pliable toward others in order that we may continually be His vessel of Glory.

When I went through the difficult time with my #5 pregnancy, God gave me a poem which was actually published in a book. I would like to share it with you.

SECRET PLACE OF HIS PRESENCE

In the time of trouble,
You hide me where no one sees.
In the secret place of Your tabernacle,
You are the One whom I seek.

You shall hide me close to You,
And set me high upon a rock,
Now my head is lifted up,
Above the enemies of strife and mock.

At times I am like a broken vessel,
For I hear the slander of many.
But I choose to trust You Father,
While so many find this uncanny.

I will offer sacrifices of joy,
Forever in Your house.
And sing praises to You Lord,
Shouting "GLORY" from my mouth.

My times are in Your hand,
Deliver me from tongues of irreverence,
I call upon You and I cry,
Then You hide me in the secret place of Your presence.

Penned by Ange Cogburn

Treasures of the Deep

2007-05-24T13:32:00.000-07:00

Gasp!
Is this real?
Never have I seen such waters of blue,
Yet somehow green at the same time.
Stripes of deep hues,
give me a hint and a clue.

Crash!Roar!
Travailing waves of rushing passion,
Yet in between each one,
A whisper from the deep,
Gives me a message for my heart to keep.

A treasure not found
Out far and beyond
But before me still and simple.
Eyes as blue as those rising crests
Smiles as bright as those milky waves.

Little legs frolicking with simple joy
Also long limbs skimming across the shore
On flat wooden boards
Amazed by how they have grown
These are moments only eternity can afford

Giggles and squeals
stir joy and delight
As we make sand cakes and shell cookies
And chase playful gulls until they take flight.

Treasures of children and family
These are riches of eternal tides
Life may seem to toss us to and fro
At times as the waves of violent seas

But the serenity of the Father's Love
Is demonstrated within family.
The treasures of the deep are deeper than they seem
Looking beside or in front
They are closer than we realize
Portals of His glory
Blast through their playful laughter
and His grace rains through their tears.

May I never take for granted
All the gifts our King has granted.
My heart heaves with grateful breaths
for the wealth encased, yet released
from the Heart of such an elaborate Giver.

A Hidden Place

2007-05-24T12:33:00.000-07:00

It is Thursday, May 24th at 3:30 in the afternoon. We have been on Emerald Isle, N.C. for 4 days now. This is one of the most breathtaking places I have ever seen. I had never heard of the Crystal Coast or of Emerald Isle. However several weeks ago I just started surfing the net in hopes of coming across a nice, peaceful place for our family to travel for vacation.

We have had crystal blue skies everyday since we have been here. The ocean is almost as blue as the sky, but a deeper shade. The caps on the ocean are so white they look like waves of milk. I have been enjoying this hidden place mostly because it has been simple. What a blessing to lay on the bed and look out the window in the mornings at God's beautiful creation. What a gift it is to be away from the hustle and bustle of Atlanta Ga with my wonderful husband and beautiful 9 children.

My heart almost weeps with delight as I hear the little ones squealing with joy as they run to the waves and then away again as if they are playing chase with the tide.
My heart swells with joy as I look into their smiling faces and I think to myself, "Their faces are portals of God's glory and grace" Many times we tend to look in bigger places for God's manifest presence. We think we need to get away to some place where we have heard that God's presence hangs out. This may be true.
However, when I look into the faces of my children and when I gaze upon my husband's loving countenance, I see heavenly portals in a place we often forget to look.

God's portals are not primarily in secluded spots like mountain terrains or ocean get aways, they are in the gift of family. Oh if we could really get back to that place of family where God really shows up. Before we left to come here, I was frustrated and felt I needed to get away. Maybe we all needed this vacation. However, as I gaze out over the Crystal Coast of N.C., I have renewed clarity. Family is what matters. My family is my safe place and my hidden place. I am grateful. I am blessed. God is faithful and His portals of favor are open over me.

YOUR TESTIMONIES ARE WONDERFUL!
THEREFORE MY SOUL KEEPS THEM.
THE ENTRANCE OF YOUR WORDS GIVES LIGHT!
IT GIVES UNDERSTANDING TO THE SIMPLE!

PSALM 119:129-130

Father, thank you for this time you have given our family to get away and to spend simple time together. You truly have blessed us with a beautiful place to reflect upon Your goodness and beauty. Most of all Lord, thank you for the reminders of the depth and the importance of family. Thank you for showing me more of Your glory in my children's faces and my husband's tender smile. As I grow in gratefulness, may my own heart be an open portal where Your light will further touch my family and those you put in my path. May my children and my husband also reflect more of Your glory and grace as You continue to draw us closer to You. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Is Change a Choice?

2007-05-17T05:37:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a sudden change of events in your life which you had no control over? Maybe you were laid off from your job and had to sell your home and move to a new community. Or you found out you were expecting a new baby in a time when your finances were low. It was not a "convenient" time for a new baby to enter into your family. Some changes are difficult and others are delightful. However, change is inevitable.

About a year and a half ago, our family faced some major changes which left us feeling disoriented for a season. We had to file bankruptcy, we foreclosed on our house, had no savings, found out we were expecting baby number 9, and moved across the city to a rental home. This sudden change of events was like a whirlwind that came in and disrupted our already busy lives.

Most of us will experience winds of change throughout our lives. The personal one I shared was not an easy one. It was painfully embarrassing and confusing. When one is going through financial trials, it is a sure set up for wrong judgements from some outsiders looking in. However, I look back and see all of the blessings which came through it. God truly does work all things together for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Many times we go through hardship and we blame the devil or we blame ourselves. In some situations both could be true. However, I am learning to also ask the question, "Is it You God?"

When we humble ourselves before the Lord and ask Him to change us and work In and through us, many times we do not truly know what we are inviting. There are times when change comes in like a violent wind and messes things up in our lives. Change is not a choice in that aspect. It will visit even without our invitation.

There is another question however. Is there a choice we have to make internally, when the changes come? The answer is yes. We can choose to move with the wind ,and trust the God who controls the gusts of change. A picture of this would be a tall oak tree swaying and bending in the midst of the storm. If the roots are strong and deep the tree stays. In fact if you study the internal functioning of tree growth, you will learn that there is actual movement going on inside the trunk of a tree when it is moving in the wind. Wind actually helps trees to grow.

On the other hand, when external change comes and everything inwardly is disturbed, we can choose to stiffen ourselves against the wind. If a tree does not bend, the trunk can very well snap in half. Have you ever felt yourself resisting the trials in your life and you just kind of stiffen up inside? You feel resentful, angry, hurt, and confused. These are all normal emotions, however the key is that we do not stay that way and allow ourselves to bend with the wind that we may grow into that tall and strong oak of righteousness .

I am feeling that in this season, winds of change are blowing. Some of us are feeling a bit "chilly" from the gusts. Some of us are even a bit disoriented and wondering which which way is up. However, we have a choice. We can resist the direction of the wind and walk against it as we wrap our sweaters of self protection and go on about our way. Or we can choose to fly as the wind of God's spirit comes behind us, lifting us and moving us to where God is moving.

My heart of flesh sometimes wants to run against the wind, but with God's grace, I am turning with the wind and allowing Him to cover me with His garments of grace that I may fly with Him.

Lord, I thank you that you understand my struggles. You are patient with me. You know how hard it is at times for me to adjust to Your movements and stirrings. It is uncomfortable sometimes. Give me grace to bend into You and help me to make the right choice inwardly to lean into the adjustments You are making in my life. You are transforming me from glory to glory, but I realize I have to allow you to change me. when I feel tempted to stiffen against Your wind, remind me Lord that I can let go and let You change me. You are the God who never changes, but you are constantly working in me that I will mirror the beauty of Your Son. Let your winds blow on and in me. I want to sway in your love with graceful abandon!! Amen.

The Detriment of Exclusivity

2007-05-14T13:25:00.000-07:00

There are not many feelings worse than a feeling of disconnection and not belonging. As I have never been very athletic except in a couple of areas, I was always one of the last picked to be a team member in grade school. I will never forget the humiliation of being in the group of the least chosen for kick ball during PE. Because I was a scrawny little girl I could not kick the ball very far. Therefore, I was not a desirable candidate for a team. On a lighter note, I blame that on my six foot one brother who ate all the ice cream at breakfast. My mother had to hide my snacks. I have forgiven you Chris! :)

In being a mother of 9 children, I would be deceiving myself if I said that none of my children have ever felt excluded. There have been times when a board game was being played and one of the children were not invited to play. There have been times when a couple of the children were invited to go somewhere and the other was not. In addition, I am sure I have spent more time with a few of the children in a given day than I have with another. Little ones notice this and it is harmful to their hearts.

Being the imperfect parents we are , we will not get it right every time. However, we must humble ourselves to recognize our shortcomings and ask for God's grace to grow and improve in our weak areas. Many times I have had to ask my children for forgiveness in hurting them by making them feel excluded from me and the rest of the family. There have also been many family talks where we have had to repent to one another for not being more sensitive to each other.

Sometimes I have found the older ones excluding the younger, less mature ones because they have "better" things to do. I have many times caught myself doing the same things as I get so busy at times. Most of the time we do not think about the hurt this causes and the detriment that occurs in their emotional and spiritual growth.

The family is a beautiful picture for all of life's course. If husbands and wives, sisters and bothers, parents and children can learn within the God designed unit of family for successful living, so much of the calamities in society could be avoided. If we cannot stick out the storms in family then how can we have a healthy church , community, and nation?

It is so easy to fall into the pattern of exclusivity. It is a comfortable place to be in the familiar with familiar people we have bonded with and grown with over a period of time. However God has a plan which is opposite to this. His desire is that we grow healthy in family that we may reach out to include instead of exclude others. We should always be open for new members and new relationships.

This brings me to ponder the glory of each new child that comes into a family. If we have one child, it is hard for us to see and understand how we could love and cherish the second child as much as the first. All of our time and energy has gone into the one child. How could my heart possible hold another heart? But this is one way we learn the love of the Lord. He always has room for more. If His heart is in us and we are created in His image, we are designed by Him to do the same on a smaller scale.

When I look at all nine of my children, I am amazed at how God has enlarged my heart to love and cherish them all in a way that is not my own. Likewise, as we are members of God's family, the concept is the same. We should never exclude others He joins to our body because we are too preoccupied with the same relationships we have always had. If we are not growing up and reaching out, our branches are not spreading and then our growth becomes stunted.

We should continually make it a practice to humble ourselves before the Lord in this area as parents and leaders. As parents we lead our children. As leaders in other areas we set the course for those who follow us. They will either grow up to be just like us or they will disconnect from us. Repentance begins with us. Humility begins with us. Lord, let it begin with me.

Lord, make me a blessing . I come to you with a broken heart that I have played the part many times of excluding others because of different reasons. Sometimes I am too busy and distracted. Sometimes I am puffed up and think I do not have time to mess with the weaknesses of others. Sometimes I am just plain insensitive. Lord, wash and cleanse my heart that I may carry other's hearts within mine. Teach me to love and to see all people as equally important in your eyes. When I touch the life of another, a child, and elderly person, a hurting sister, remind me Lord that I am laying my hand upon you and that I am not only blessing them, but also You. Amen

Happy Mother's Day Momma

2007-05-10T12:39:00.000-07:00

I would like to honor my mother on Mother's day by writing about her. I always believed my Mother was and still is so smart, she could have graduated college with a MBA and been the CEO of a large successful corporation. She has always been organized, yet gracious. She has always used her time wisely, yet has taken time to just sit and listen to others.

My mother was a stay home mom most of her younger years. She did work as a librarian's assistant when my brother and I were in school. So she was home when we were home. She was always there and she always showed she cared about our lives. I will never forget all of the wonderful home cooked meals she made every single night. The meals were not frozen Stouffer's meals, but rich and filling foods that gave me comfort. Every course was like a letter that said, "I love you."

My mother cares when others hurt and is quick to defend the wounded heart. I recall a difficult time in my life when Momma was not only my Mother, but she was my best friend. We had just moved to a new town and I had entered the jungle of the so "loving" sixth grade class. It was difficult making friends because all of the sixth grade girls were in their own groups of companions and stood their ground when it came to any possibility of letting anyone new in. It was a season in my life that I learned a tremendous lesson about life.

At the beginning of the sixth grade year, I would come home from school in tears because the kids were so cruel and unaccepting. I had never felt so rejected in my life. I cannot express the magnitude of comfort I felt each day to come home where I knew my Momma would be.
She would hug me and talk to me. In addition, she would give me sound wisdom in how to deal with the adversity. Little did she know, that her words left a deep mark in my heart that I carry to this day. Simple but powerful, this is what she said.

"Do not worry so much about the ones you are trying to be friends with. I am sure there are others that feel left out just like you and need a friend. Look for those people and make friends with them."And you know that is exactly what I did. I continued to be kind to the ones who were mean, but I no longer focused on them so much. I started looking around, outside of myself, and saw that my mother was right. There were others who felt the same and were seemingly "rejects like me."

By the time I entered high school, I had many friends. No , I never hung out with the popular group. I was never voted cheerleader or Homecoming Queen, but I had plenty of genuine friends.
by the end of my Senior year, the senior class took a vote of the classmates they wanted to elect as senior superlatives. I was voted by my class the friendliest and most courteous.

It was all because of the seeds of wisdom my mother planted in my heart in the painful place of sixth grade. This day, I hold fast to those words. The most serious emotional and spiritual problem individuals struggle with is rejection. We live in a world where divorce is rampant, father's are absent, and discipline is not a priority. This tragedy is that our country's kids are growing into adults with serious rejection issues and they need so much healing.

I am so thankful for my mother. Because of her, my heart is still looking for the hurting and rejected. This is God's heart. I believe as time moves along, we will see God raising up "rejects" to be some of the most powerful leaders that ever existed. I want to be friends with rejects!

Thank you Momma for imparting truth into my heart that will carry me throughout my entire life. The seeds you have sown will sprout through all the generations in your grandchildren and their children. Thank you for being a mother who demonstrates what true beauty is.

I love you!!! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

Ange

Why I Love Him

2007-05-10T05:37:00.000-07:00

John and I have been married for 22 years and will be celebrating our 23rd wedding anniversary this summer. God has really been doing a deep work in our marriage these last couple of months. Even though it has been difficult and we have gotten into some knock down drag outs, I love him more that ever. I feel like we tend to get so focused on ourselves that we steal from ourselves the valuable thoughts and admiration that we have in our spouses. I am learning that the more I watch my husband and his life, the more I realize that I want t be more like him in so many ways. I just blogged yesterday and so did John. I encourage you to read what he wrote as I admire his thoughts and wisdom. He has such a practical side that keeps me in balance.

Our anniversary is not until August, but I do not want to wait. I want to write 23 things about my husband that I admire. All of us wives should practice focusing on all of the God given strengths our husbands have and cut out the complaining. I am here to declare to the world that I am blessed. I may sound prideful and my reply to that I YES!!! I am. I am proud to be married to John Cogburn and here is why..............................

1. He is patient
2.He is kind.
3.He is funny
4.He is full of joy.
5.He hardly ever complains.
6.He is gentle.
7.He carries peace in his heart and it shows in his countenance.
8. He is successful because he honors the Lord with his life.
9. He is very affectionate with his children and me.
10. He is faithful.
11. He sees the best in others.
12. He is wise.
13.He never, ever, loses his temper.
14. He is understanding and works at being understanding even when he does not understand.
15. He is strong.
16. He completes what he starts.
17. He is a man of his word.
18. He is humble.
19. He is an encourager.
20. He constantly serves me, his children and others.
21. He is handsome.
22.He perseveres in adversity.
23. He is my earthly hero.

I am so blessed. Thank you Lord for all of the things in my husband that reflect your heart and glory. thank you John for being who you are. I love you. Ange

What's on My Heart?

2007-05-09T18:44:00.000-07:00

Do you realize that I have never blogged in my life!!

This is an historic moment. My first blog!

It is my first blog, and I don’t know what to write. So, to help myself, I will ask myself a question.

What is on your heart?

What is on my heart?

Here’s a question:

What would you do if your life could be simple again?

Have you ever thought about that question? Do you remember when life was simple?

Sometimes I look at my kids, especially the real young ones and I think to myself, man if I could just be that age again. But, of course, know everything I know now. Can you imagine how simple life would be?

Sometimes, I look at my teenage boys and think, man, if I could have it to do all over again and be one of them. But, of course, know everything I know now.

Do you see the pattern unfolding here? It’s one of… to be that, but, to know this. Obviously, this is a God-designed impossibility.

Do you ever wonder why teenagers think they know everything and you (assuming you’re an adult reading this, possibly a parent yourself), know nothing. Sometimes, we might be inclined to think that this is the work of Satan himself. - A ploy of the enemy to frustrate parents and drive a wedge between them and their children. - A lifelong plot to separate us from our legacy and render us unable to impact them for the future.

The truth, I believe, is that this is actually the work of God!

Think about it. If children listened to everything we said, followed it word-for-word, step-by-step, knowing what we know, but with them having the opportunity to start fresh and new and do everything right, their lives would be simple. This would be great. In fact, I’m convinced that if my kids would listen to me, they could avoid every mistake I’ve ever made and their lives would be perfect. In fact, I’m convinced that I could help my kids be millionaires by the time their 40, just by listening to me and doing everything I say, avoiding all the mistakes I’ve made in my life. They would have a wonderful, carefree life, I think to myself.

But, where would that leave them. Would it make them happy? Would they truly be able to think for themselves? Would their lives truly be simple? Or would they be constantly looking for the answers to life’s questions from me?

Can you believe what we’ve witnessed in the news over the past few days? Paris Hilton, poster child for the simple life. Already a millionheiress before she was ever born, able to go through life not worrying about a thing. Now, going to jail for her petty wrongdoings. Is she able to think for herself? Or is everything we’ve watched her do over the past few years really just episodes she construed to get attention. To really have the simple life – a life that truly would allow her to think for herself, to make a contribution to society that few but her can make – will she ever be able to accomplish this? The truth is she’s probably never been allowed to think for herself.

You see, it is God’s design that our children think for themselves. For it is our duty to lead them to green pastures, but it is up to them to ask the questions, think for themselves and enjoy the view.

The next time you struggle with something in life, realize this. God wants us to have the simple life. The life of leaning on him for everything – and thinking for ourselves.

by John

A little side note:
You will notice from time to time when something appears on the site from me how vastly different it may be from what you hear from Ange. Ange and I are at totally different ends of the spectrum when it comes to certain things. I often joke with people that if e-Harmony.com would have existed 25 years ago and Ange and I both signed up at the same time, our names probably wouldn’t have matched up. As you can imagine, being as different as we are comes with it’s challenges. But, I believe God put us together by design. As two different people work out their differences, true harmony can be demonstrated in them as they illuminate so many different areas of life together and influence different kinds of people together. This is the beauty of God bringing you together with someone different than you and allowing the two of you to shine on the hearts of others in His name. So, if you are struggling in this area with you spouse, persevere! It has probably been designed by God.

A GIFT AFTER TEARS

2007-05-09T05:55:00.000-07:00

AS A CLAP OF THUNDER WITHIN THE HEAVENLY VAPORS
AS A JAGGED LIGHTENING BOLT STABBING AND DIVIDING IT'S PATH'S MASSES
THE POINT OF MY PEN BRINGS A VOICE
BIRTHING CLARITY TO INTERNAL WRESTLINGS
AND DIVINE LONGINGS TOO ENORMOUS FOR LIMITED MEDITATIONS.

THE STROKES I APPLY ARE AS A NEEDLE THREADING AND MENDING
WOUNDED PLACES LEFT EXPOSED IN QUESTS FOR VULNERABILITY
IT HAS BLED TO CLEANSE THAT WHICH NEVER CONTAINED LIFE
AS THOUGH DEATH CAME TO VISIT, GRIEF WAS PRESENT.

MY GUIDED HAND MOVES WITH LIFE WITHIN AND BEYOND ME
ANOTHER HAND THAT TOUCHES ETERNITY MERGES WITH MY OWN
ONE THAT PARTED WATERS AND RAISED THE DEAD
MOVES MOUNTAINS OF FEAR AND DOUBT WHICH THREATEN TO HINDER

NEW LIFE HAS BEEN BIRTHED WITHIN MY CREATED AND CREATIVE BEING
MY PEN IS THE SCOPE WHICH MAGNIFIES DIVINITY IN MY HEART
THE DREAM THAT WAS WOUNDED IS NOT DYING
HOPES WERE SEEDS ONLY NEEDING TO BE WATERED
BY THE FOUNTAIN FLOWING FROM CREATION'S MAKER
MIXED WITH BOTTLED TEARS FROM A HEAVY SPIRIT

SPROUTS OF LIFE HAVE SEEDS TO SPREAD
SORROW LASTING ONLY FOR AN EVENING
SHELLS ARE SOFTENING AS CREATIVE RAINS FLOW FROM A TINY ROD
THE WORDS ARE BLOOMS DELIVERED TO ROOMS IN THE HEART
A SMILE IS BORN AND JOY IS ETERNALLY IMPARTED
SALVATION IS THE DREAM THAT HAS COME TRUE
REDEEMING CONCEIVED LIES THAT ALL IS LOST
THAT THE DREAMS ARE NOT REAL

IT IS THE DREAM THAT FEEDS THE STREAM OF THE HEARTS
NOT MY DREAM, BUT HEAVEN'S HOPE
PROVIDED WITH ABANDON TO ALLOW ALL TO RECEIVE
DREAMS MEANT TO COME TRUE AND SHED UPON ONES YET TO BE
CARESSING LIVES AHEAD THAT THE FUTURE MAY TAKE HOLD
THAT ALL OF LIFE IS NEVER IN VAIN
AND LOVE IS WAITING FOR OPEN HEARTS
MAYBE ONES CUT OPEN FROM LIFE'S WOUNDS
TO RECEIVE THE DREAM THAT ORIGINATED IN THE MASTER'S WOMB.

This poem seems strange to me. But it came out of my heart this morning. In the womb of the morning came a fruit that is new to my taste. Something ripe from the tree of life hidden in my inner garden. God and me creating together!! It is what we were created to do.

It is Okay

2007-05-04T05:09:00.000-07:00

I just want to share something personal that has been on my heart this week. There was a realization in my heart that over the last several days I have been condemning myself for the very things God has put in my heart. I have made a decision that I will not apologize for things I am not supposed to apologize for. What am I saying and what do I mean?

Well lately I have been asking the Lord to show me the truth and to show me the lie. The truth is I care about people! I love people because I love God. When people are struggling and going through tough stuff, I feel things very deeply for them. Many times I weep and feel sad and grieve for them. God says, "It is okay"

When many voices come, the truth can easily get distorted in my mind when I am listening too closely. The voices include things like "Be careful, do not get too involved." , "This is not your burden to carry.", " You have enough to do at home to be so concerned about others.", "All that stuff can jump off onto you and then you become oppressed."

I appreciate the good intentions of others, but I have been listening to lies and the truth is, " It is okay."

It is okay to care
To love too much
As the world might say
As the well meaning may imply
Loving too much is harmful
The risk of feeling too deeply
The chances of getting dirty
In the nit and grit of anothers pain
Feeling accused of being too emotional
Never again will I believe the lie
Jesus wept.
I will weep without apology.
His tears of grief
For those He loves
To bear a burden is a gift
To bear a burden is worship
To carry His heart and anothers heart is a joy
To other's I may seem depressed at times,
Or even out of balance
Maybe there is a fear
Judgement is fear displayed
In the heart
Of one who struggles to be free
Yes I am emotional
And I get weary.
It is okay.
I go back to my Source
The joy of My Lord
Quickly, He replenishes me
With the moisture of Grace
I am made to love
And created to feel,
Destined to carry
His Heart in Mine.
It is good and
It is okay.

Lord,

Thank you for Your truth. Your truth aways goes back to one name and one word. Jesus and Love. Thank you for allowing me to feel. Thank you for the privilege of letting me participate in your emotions. May my tears glorify You always especially when they are misunderstood.
Lord, You are my hero. Amen.

Posted by Ange

A Culture of Light

2007-04-27T14:15:00.000-07:00

When I was a little girl, I never read many books. I never really enjoyed reading. When I went to college, I had to take a reading lab because I struggled with reading comprehension. Looking back, I recall reading words without strain and even doing extremely well in spelling. However, I had a weakness in understanding the ideas of what I was reading.

It is amazing that now at 42 years old, one of my favorite things to do is read. I enjoy fiction, however, I spend most of my free time reading non-fiction. I look at it as a wise choice I have to make with my limited time. As you probably realize, I enjoy sharing about what I have read especially things that have deeply impacted me.

Now I am such a book nut that I am usually rotating through four to six books at once. Several weeks ago, I started reading Purifying the Prophetic ,by R. Loren Sandford. This is such a rich piece which every American Christian or non-Christian should read. It is not just about prophecy, but it boldly confronts the culture of selfishness that we live in today. It is alive and well in this country and has become a forceful enemy of our time.

The culture of self teaches that the comfortable, wealthy life and that the "must haves" should be our goal and pursuit of our happiness. It implies that we must focus on ourselves and our personal feelings to reach our inward goals. This in itself leads to a culture of complaint, grumbling, pride, and ungratefulness. These are all fruits of our obsession with self.

In Sanford's book, the author states, "We weigh and measure one another and find one another wanting because we are steeped in the demand that others serve our personal need to be pleased and happy. Having thus passed judgement, we then declare ourselves innocent or, at worst, victims.We have been marinated in a cultural soup of complaint and grumbling in which nothing is ever enough for us."

Now Jesus' passion is to create a culture of light amongst us. This is a new culture which cradles sacrifice and giving. In order for this culture to dominate this world of self focus, there would have to be a number of us who would resign this world's culture which screams, "I am owed something!"

Sanford says, "We must become practitioners of the new culture, permeated by the giving spirit of Jesus and soaked in His extreme mercy."

My question within my own heart and to my self has been, "Am I desperate enough? Am I hungry enough?" The places God is attracted to are the places where the pains of hunger growl within the desperate bellies of His people. We cry out for God to show Himself to us. We ask Him to open the eyes of our hearts that we may see Him. Is our cry out of our craving for Him alone or a craving for something supernatural that will only bring temporary sustenance?

In order to cultivate a culture of light, we must first know what it looks like. Where God is glorified is where there is culture of light. We glorify Him by walking in praise toward Him. Speaking constant praise is a sure cure for complaining and criticism. Replacing every negative thought with a positive word is the practice we should also prioritize.

Another action we can take is to study the works of God. Implementing this opens our eyes to the whole of what God is up to and helps to eliminate the mindset and habits of focusing on what we lack. People who are aiming to present a culture of light, edification is always a byproduct. We know how to edify ourselves and to encourage others with nurturing word and actions.

The heart and desire of our Lord is to build a true Christian culture, not a religious one, where servant hood, encouragement, humility,praise, and contemplation of the works of God are manifested. May we all realize the depths of our hunger and run to the throne of the Lord and allow Him to fulfill us that we may in this age be vessels where the culture of light prevails.

posted by Ange

More on Compassion-Random Acts of Kindness

2007-04-12T20:12:00.000-07:00

The subject of compassion cannot be dropped without mentioning some ways to actually put it into practice.. I decided to add part two to this subject of compassion. In the last blog, I shared about what it is and how it is so vital to walk in sincere, genuine compassion. How can we practically apply this in our everyday lives? It is crucial that we know what it is, yet it is just as important that we put it into action.

First of all I believe as we learn to be consistent in our vital connection with our Lord, our spiritual antennas will be up and we will just be more aware of our surroundings. Before we get out of bed in the mornings, we should ask, "How can I serve You this day Lord? Make me a blessing." As we connect with our families, our coworkers, acquaintances, and people we meet on the street, the Holy Spirit will direct us and give us creative ways to demonstrate kindness.

Many times I have selfishly prayed for God to give me favor when going to park in a parking garage or when I am going to stand in a check out line in a store. I did this very regularly in my ninth pregnancy as I felt like a "weeble wooble" anytime I had to walk or stand for too long.

Maybe we need to look for opportunities to be vessels for God's favor to flow out of us onto others. I am going to list some ideas the Golls listed in their book along with some of my ideas for practical ways of showing random acts of kindness. You will even come up with some of your own creative ideas. I would love to hear some of the things you do if you comment back on my blog. Let us get the compassion rivers flowing and change the world! AMEN?

Send one card a week to encourage a friend or even someone you do not see very often or know very well.

Surrender your place in line to someone who seems to be in a hurry, whether in a supermarket, a bank, or elsewhere.

Give an unusually good tip to a server in a restaurant and leave them a note telling them God cares.

Look people in the eye, smile, and say thank you wherever you go. This world can be so hostile.

Take time to be a good listener to someone who needs to share his or her circumstances with you. Look them in the eye as they share. Most hurting people just want to be listened to.

Ask questions when talking to people. It shows you are truly interested in them.

When someone shares something about their life with you, ask them immediately if you can pray with them. Invite the Holy Spirit to come so that God's glory will be revealed.

Look for at least one item in your home each week or each month that you could give away.

Look for a child to encourage. Get down on your knees on their level and tell them something encouraging such as ,"God has such big plans for you! You are special!"

Every time we deposit one little act of kindness it brings light to dark places. It makes a much bigger impact than we can see with our natural eye. So let's get on it and just do it!

Compassion

2007-04-12T14:59:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading a wonderful and inspiring book titled, Compassion, by James and Michal Goll. Compassion is something really lacking in our world today. What is genuine compassion?
Many times we see others doing really nice things for people or we tend to do kind things for someone in need. However, we lack the deep wells of compassion which mark our actions with eternal purity. We leave with a temporary satisfaction that we have done our good work for the day. We think well of ourselves in being the good Christians we should be. We have done our duty.

So, what is compassion? Take a look at Jesus. Jesus was a man who wept. He felt the pain of suffering souls. He probably felt the pain even deeper than they did themselves. Compassion is the deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with a passionate longing to relieve it. Do we show kindness out of a drab sense of duty, or do we truly yearn to be vessels in which Christ can minister a release of His compassion through us?

This is truly convicting for me. Many times we just pray,"God, give me more compassion for hurting people." Here is His answer. "Spend time time with Me , for I am lowly and meek. For it is in eating My words, digesting my truth, and basking in My presence where true compassion is cultivated." James and Michal Goll said that many times people will ask them to pray for them to have more compassion as if it is something to be imparted. This is far from the truth. Compassion is a well formed within the innermost being only by joining hearts with the Source of compassion (my definition). This only comes through intimacy with Christ.

We need a revival of genuine kindness in this nation. We are often too busy, too stressed and too worried to stop and take note of the sorrowful conditions of others. May we be burdened to go to the heart of God and allow His vessels of eternal compassion be joined to our own heart's vessels that the wells of kindness within us may be deepened.

Lord,

Teach us about Your presence. Give us the grace to stir ourselves in order to take hold of You.
As we reach for You in our secret place, may we learn of You and what it means to feel true compassion for the many hurting people in this world. Open our eyes to see them as your precious treasures. Tender our hearts as we soak in you company. Open our hearts that we may pour out waters of living compassion to those You place before us each day. Amen.

By Ange