Wednesday, November 28, 2007

A Gold Miner's Daughter

It was another one of my puzzling dreams. I was standing in front of a group of people singing this seemingly silly song. "I'm a gold miner's daughter. I'm a gold miner's daughter." Spectators were chuckling as I sang these words with conviction to the tune of the old hymn, "I've Got Peace Like a River". This is strange I know, but oh how true. I am a gold miner's daughter.

Needless to say, God has spoken nuggets of gold truths from this dream and I would like to share them. First of all, I am not who I thought I was. I am not the same today as I was yesterday. I am becoming all that God wants me to be through the testing and trying of my faith. This revelation is knowledge that I had in my head, but is now becoming through the passage if time real within the fibers of my very being. Not only is my heavenly Father constantly panning for gold in me, but He is making me into a desperate gold digger.

Just a few weeks ago I found out that I was expecting a baby. We have nine precious gifts from God's heart. Now, we have two angels in the realms of glory living in prosperity and eternal security. I had the first miscarriage back in late June and the second one less than a week ago. These loses have been extremely painful for me. I agree with Mother Teresa's statement that one who says there are too many children is like saying there are too many flowers.

It is interesting that I had actually been praying and asking the Lord to bless us again with another baby. Many say to themselves," What in the world would compel someone in their right mind to ask for more and more children?" My answer is, this desire is not of this world and it is something I cannot really explain.

On the other hand, I have also been praying fervently for God to show me more of His heart and to reveal Himself to me. Just like Moses, I was asking God, "Show me Your glory." Oh what a dangerous prayer to pray. However, the King of Glory is waiting for those who would boldly ask with sincerity of heart.
Also recently I have been hearing of testimonies all over of signs and wonders in the land.
There have been accounts of feathers, gold and sapphire dust falling from the heavens onto people's skin. There have been events of oil scented with myrrh coming from the palms of people's hands and from the soles of their feet. I have even found myself looking around from time to time for a diamond from the throne of God laying at my feet. It is a glorious endeavor to desire these signs and wonders. However,my heart springs with delight whenever I recall a pastor who said, "It is not so much in how He chooses to come and reveal Himself, but what matters is that He come. Just come Lord Jesus and show us your glory."

When we consistently ask of the Lord for more of Him, we become diggers of gold. We are mining for the treasures of God's heart that we may get next to Him and know Him in a deeper way. However, God is the Father Miner who is digging and sifting for gold within us.

Because gold is a weighty substance it always stays at the bottom when being panned for. Especially in the past, gold miners would use a pan to sort the gold from small rocks and gravel. They would mine in small streams by scooping up soil along with water. The lighter debris would float to the top while the gold would stay at the bottom. This would happen through the process of sifting and shaking by the one searching for the gold.

Likewise, as God mines for gold within us, He causes shaking and sifting in various ways in order for the unwanted and undesirable things of our flesh to come to the surface. The items that are gold and incorruptible stay in the deep places of our hearts. This deep place is God's treasure chest which is stored deep within.

God does not always reveal Himself to us in seemingly blissful ways. The word says that He is an all consuming fire (Hebrews 12:29). When we ask for His heart of gold, His fire always comes first. He will test us through trials by His purifying fire that we may be perfected and become a trusted vessel to carry His presence to others.

Job 23:10 says, "When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold." He is after a faith that is genuine and transparent, just as pure gold is transparent. 1 Peter 1:7 says," That the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ."

When we seek the Lord for more of Him, we must accept the way in which He sees fit to come. Many times it is by His fire and it is through His shaking. This is the way God has chosen to visit our family lately. It would be so much easier to have gold dust in my lap and and oil from my hands. However, here are some ways God works through the fire and sifting of His presence. He is asking, "Will you embrace the way in which I choose to come to you?" When we say yes in the midst of the pain of His scorching yet loving flame, His heart floods with pleasure and delight for He knows we have chosen Him above all else.

1. God's fire proves your faith. He will test you in the very areas that are dearest to your heart. This may include desires that are godly and pure. He is asking, "Will you still love me even if I choose to never answer any more of your prayers?" He is looking for a bride who will love Him for Him only. We are just like this too. We want others to love and care for us because they value who were are, not just the things we can do for them and give them.

2. God's fire cultivates brokenness. Brokenness yields humility. A child of God who walks in victory but does not have brokenness becomes triumphant in way others cannot relate. This repels others who are going through hardship because they cannot relate to that person. Pride parades and drives needy people away. Humility brought forth through brokenness creates a fragrance which draws others to Christ.

3. God's fire also heals and gives you a message. Just as fire is used to weld metals together. He will work His fire within you to mend your broken heart. Your faith will be pure and sure. Also, you will have proof through your life to show to your children the goodness and faithfulness of God.

4. God's fire spreads and ignites those coming behind us. The next generation does not want to just hear about the works and faithfulness of God. They want to see it in live action. We are the screen they are watching to see if God will come through. They see the realty of who He is in the way we allow Him to bring change in us. His glory is not so much in the manifest signs and wonders of diamonds, oil and gold. His splendor is in the gold He is bringing forth in our personal lives. This is what will stay with our children. This is what will remain.

My heart is comforted in knowing that the hardships we face are not just about us. They are about our children, and their children. I want God's gold to come forth in me and for my faith to be proven for their sakes. My desire is that my life would count for something much deeper than just my short time here even if it means all of the desires of my heart do not come to pass on this side of heaven. I can rest and be at peace knowing that the Master Gold Digger is digging in my heart and bringing forth gold that will be passed as an indestructible inheritance to my children who are following and watching me. Remember also that your testimony is not so much in the outcome of your circumstances, it remains and gleams in and through the change that the test has worked in you.

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testingof your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. James 1:2-4

3 comments:

kblair said...

Ange-

I am so sorry about your loss; but your faith and the strength you draw from God is so encouraging. Thank you for being so transparent and sharing this publicly. There is so much to learn from your example.

Love,
Karla

kristina said...

Lately I'm afraid to ask for more of Him, because lately that means more hard times to come. Life has been so hard and he has peeled my like an onion so much lately that I think if I were to ask for more of Him, I would crumble and fail him. I want more of Him but more of His love not his testing.

kristina said...

Lately I'm afraid to ask for more of Him, because lately that means more hard times to come. Life has been so hard and he has peeled my like an onion so much lately that I think if I were to ask for more of Him, I would crumble and fail him. I want more of Him but more of His love not his testing.